- Jim Rockford: This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
- Betty: [Beeep] It's Betty from up the street. I've phoned all the neighbours 'cause Spotty is loose. If you see him, call me. Oh, don't wear musk cologne; leopards have a thing about that.
- Police Officer: [two cop cars pull up beside Rockford's trailer and two officers climb out, one pulling out his gun] Hold it! Stay right where you are!
- Jim Rockford: What is it with today?
- Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: Well anyone who keeps dirty laundry in their desk I think is pretty...
- Jim Rockford: I knew right where to find it didn't I?
- Jim Rockford: To the maid after his trailer is blown up -- "You don't have to change the bed--there isn't any."