- Gaius Octavian: Be assured you will be amply rewarded for your services to me.
- Titus Pullo: [to Vorenus] See how good he talks?
- Lucius Vorenus: He's convincing, I'll give him that.
- Gaius Octavian: Caesar will prove who I am. Take me to him.
- Lucius Vorenus: We cannot do that as yet. We have orders.
- Gaius Octavian: What orders?
- Titus Pullo: We are to retrieve Caesar's stolen eagle.
- Gaius Octavian: Caesar wouldn't pull a hair for his eagle. You're on a fool's errand.
- Lucius Vorenus: If Caesar doesn't care about the eagle, why did he send us to find it?
- Gaius Octavian: It would look strange if he made no efforts. Actually, losing the eagle is useful to Caesar.
- Lucius Vorenus: Why would that be useful to Caesar?
- Gaius Octavian: Because Pompey is no deep philosopher. He will take a symbolic loss for a real weakness.
- Lucius Vorenus: Explain.
- Gaius Octavian: Caesar doesn't want to strike the first blow against an old friend, so he wishes to lure Pompey into attacking him first. Pompey will only do this if he believes Caesar is weak.
- Titus Pullo: No. They're as good as brothers, those two.
- Gaius Octavian: When Julia died, the last true bond between them was cut. Caesar has taken the love of the common people from Pompey, and that was his most prized possession. A battle is inevitable.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Of course, you have to imagine, long hair down to here, huge moustasches, the most terriffic stench, they eat only raw meat and never wash. Though they do have one admirable custom, they settle their political disputes by a single combat to the death.
- Pompey Magnus: Excellent idea.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Isn't it? Mother is always nagging me to attend politics.
- Servilia of the Junii: Well it's been our family's tradition and duty for, uhm, five hundred years?
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Oh it's such dreadfully dull stuff. Now you see, if our senate conducted business in the German style I should certainly go and watch. Yeah, no tedious laws and endless debates, just swords, and daggers...
- Servilia of the Junii: How is Caesar?
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Who?
- Servilia of the Junii: Don't be cruel. Is he well? Did he speak of me?
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Did he? I can't recall. I think not. He did write you a letter though.
- Servilia of the Junii: Oh you beast.
- Gaius Octavian: I am Gaius Octavian of the Julii. Great nephew of Julius Caesar.
- Titus Pullo: Gaius who?
- Gaius Octavian: I am a Roman citizen of noble birth. And I order you to cut these ropes.
- Titus Pullo: Say please.
- Gaius Octavian: Please.
- Lucius Vorenus: Pullo, when was the last time you were with a woman who wasn't crying or wanting payment?
- Marcus Tullius Cicero: When confronted by a hungry wolf, it is unwise to goad the beast, as Cato would have us do. But it is equally unwise to imagine the snarling animal a friend and offer your hand, as Pompey does.
- Pompey Magnus: Perhaps you would have us climb a tree!
- Titus Pullo: Me, I have simpler tastes. I like to kill my enemies, take their gold and enjoy their women.
- [as Caesar's soldiers distribute war spoils to the mob]
- Scipio: What a dreadful noise plebs make when they're happy.
- Porcius Cato: This is music. Wait until Caesar starts them howling for our blood. Then you'll hear something dreadful.
- [Atia and Timon have sex after he brings her a prize stallion]
- Atia of the Julii: That was lovely, Timon. Two stallions have come to Rome today.
- Timon: Of course. How childish of me. You want the horse.
- Atia of the Julii: [sarcastically apologetic] I do.
- [Timon rolls his eyes]
- Atia of the Julii: But don't be sullen, now. This was not a hardship for me. I've always found something perversely erotic about goaty little men.
- Porcius Cato: Neither we aristocrats alone nor you and your soldiers alone can crush Caesar.
- Pompey Magnus: Stop there.
- Porcius Cato: I do not say that you wish to crush Caesar, I only say that if you did wish it, you could not do it alone.
- Pompey Magnus: I have no need of you noble gentlemen. I have only to stamp my feet, and legions will spring up all over Italy. I can squash Caesar like an insect, if I wished it so. I do not wish it.
- [Pompey starts to walk away, but Cato grabs him]
- Porcius Cato: Renounce him, Pompey! Renounce Caesar! Ally yourself with us, and his strength will wither away. It is you who has the real power. It is you the people truly love. Think you they will still shout Caesar's name when he runs out of Gallic trinkets to throw to them?
- Pompey Magnus: Think you I care what names are shouted in the streets?
- Porcius Cato: NOTHING is more important.
- Newsreader: A fine reward is offered for the return of a slave woman, stolen or absconded, from the house of Marius Dolabella. Under the protection of Pompey Magnus and Julius Caesar, senate sits tomorrow. Be aware. No disorder will be tolerated.
- Lucius Vorenus: Do you think of *nothing* but women?
- Titus Pullo: What else is there?
- [he thinks]
- Titus Pullo: Food, I s'pose.