Roseanne (TV Series)
Dear Mom and Dad (1989)
Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner
Photos
Quotes
-
Darlene Conner : You guys think we don't get your corny, little sex jokes.
Roseanne Conner : Hey, you kids *are* our corny, little sex joke.
-
Dan Conner : [making out a shopping list, since Roseanne's parents showed up unannounced] Let me see if I got this straight. We need milk?
Roseanne Conner : Milk.
Dan Conner : Eggs?
Roseanne Conner : Eggs.
Dan Conner : Bullets?
-
Bev Harris : [expressing why she worries about Jackie] Well somebody has to. She's 32, she's unmarried. Heaven forbid that she turns out to be like your Aunt Dale... who teaches P.E.
Roseanne Conner : Speaking of Aunt Dale, how is Uncle Shirley?
-
Roseanne Conner : If my parents move to Lanford, I am gonna be sleeping on a cot for the rest of my life, because I'm gonna be in prison for blowing 'em away!
Dan Conner : Hunny, hunny, be realistic. You don't know how to use a gun. I'll do it.
-
Roseanne Conner : [stuck sleeping on cots, they talk about the possibility that Roseanne's parents might move to Lanford] Seriously, Dan, what are we going to do?
Dan Conner : Well, I'd say let's sleep on it... but who could sleep! You know, if you knew how to stand up to your parents, we wouldn't be lying here right now.
Roseanne Conner : What is that supposed to mean? And I'm warning you, that fireplace poker's within reach!