Roseanne (TV Series)
Death and Stuff (1989)
Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner
Photos
Quotes
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Roseanne Conner : [feeling for the man's pulse] I think he's dead.
Dan Conner : [steps back] Check again.
Roseanne Conner : I know how to count to zero.
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Roseanne Conner : [to the corpse] I don't know where you're goin', mister, but if you bump into Janis Joplin, tell her I said hi.
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D.J. Conner : Did the policeman shoot him?
Roseanne Conner : No honey, he just kind of ran down like when your toys need new batteries.
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Gene the Police Officer : We have to wait for the coroner to officially pronounce him dead.
Roseanne Conner : I pronounced him dead half an hour ago.
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Darlene Conner : [Darlene can't find her jeans] Well they didn't just get up and walk away.
Roseanne Conner : Well yours coulda...
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Roseanne Conner : [DJ is about to go out wearing a werewolf mask] You're not goin' noplace lookin' like that. Go upstairs and comb your face.
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Jackie Harris : I think I got Becky feeling better.
Roseanne Conner : How did you manage that?
Jackie Harris : A quart of scotch.
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Roseanne Conner : [to Dan] Usually, if somebody drops dead in my kitchen *I* will take the blame, but this time was not anybody's fault.