Roseanne (TV Series)

Father's Day (1989)

Ned Beatty: Ed Conner

Quotes 

• Ed Conner : [about sons]  Yeah, they're too precious, you know. I don't know about mothers and sons, but with fathers and sons huuugh. A Father looks at his son, and he sees every mistake he ever made, you know. And he just, and he just wants to put him on some kind of path, where he won't make those same mistakes.

  Roseanne : [trying to talk]  Yeah, but Ed he...

  Ed Conner : [cutting her off]  No, a father and a son, I mean, you see what woulda, what coulda, what shoulda been.

  Roseanne : [cutting him off]  Ed. Ed! When you're on the phone, do you ever use the *top* half?

• Ed Conner : [to Roseanne after giving the kids their gifts]  Yours is in the mail.

  Roseanne : Oh Ed, you know you don't have to bring us anything. As soon as you leave, we take *their* stuff.

• Ed Conner : [after an argument with his son, Dan]  I guess I really messed things up this time, huh Rosie.

  Roseanne : Yeah, Ed... it's all over your shoes.

• Ed Conner : [in the garage]  What are you guys doin'?

  Roseanne : Me and D.J.'s trapping ants for his ant condo.

  D.J. Conner : We put jelly on the bread, Grandpa.

  Roseanne : Yeah, and when the ants come out, we smash them over the head with a two-by-four. Same way I caught Dan.

• Ed Conner : ... All I was doing was giving Danny a little fatherly advice.

  Roseanne : But that's the thing about fatherly advice, Ed. I mean, it's a give and take kinda thing. You can only give it so much before the kid can't take it anymore!