- Sylvia Foster: I could use some "manhood" myself.
- Crystal Anderson: Sylvia!
- Sylvia Foster: Well what am I, dead? There's still some tread in these old tires.
- Roseanne Conner: Oh, come on, I love bowling! It's the perfect workout. Six seconds of exercise, drink beer half an hour.
- Dan Conner: Five bucks a piece for them little beggers. That's a lot of money.
- Roseanne Conner: Yeah, but you know, look at it this way: for five bucks, they're out of our hair all night.
- Dan Conner: Well hell, let's give them each a hundred, maybe they'll move to Cleveland.
- Dan Conner: Oh come on Rosie, you know girls always go for guys who remind them of their Fathers.
- Roseanne Conner: Not if they listen to their Mothers.