Roseanne (TV Series)

Two Down, One to Go (1993)

Sara Gilbert: Darlene Conner

Quotes 

• Darlene : Why is it so much harder to break up with a guy after you've slept with him?

  Roseanne : Well, all human beings connect sex and love... except for men.

• Darlene : Wow, my Mom's a big tramp!

• Darlene : Uh, Mom, can I talk to you a minute? I need to ask you a really big favor.

  Roseanne : Well let's see... I let you go to art school, and I let your boyfriend move in, oh yeah, and I gave you... life. Yeah, I guess I owe you one.

• Darlene : [why Darlene doesn't want her Mother to take her to college]  Because she's just going to go psychotic when we get up there and she sees I've got my own life now! You know she's going to rag on everything: my school, my apartment, my roommate!

  Dan Conner : Yes! Yes! She absolutely will! And every time she slams you, you'll know she's suffering! And the only way your Mother can deal with pain, is to spread it around!

• Darlene : David and I slept together. Are you angry?

  Roseanne : I don't know, was I home at the time?

  Darlene : No.

  Roseanne : Were *you*?

  Darlene : Yes... I was careful.

  Roseanne : Well that's good.

  Darlene : Are you disappointed in me?

  Roseanne : No, not really. I kind of already knew.

  Darlene : You did?

  Roseanne : Yeah,

  [laughing nervously] 

  Roseanne : I just pretended I didn't so's I could, you know, live.