Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)

Bada-Ping! (2002)

Melissa Joan Hart: Sabrina Spellman

Quotes 

• Sabrina Spellman : [smoky explosion in kitchen]  Amanda, is that you?

  Amanda : [emerging from smoke cloud]  Yeah. You know, I've been so bored, I thought I'd come by and hang out with someone cool.

  Sabrina Spellman : Oh, well, I'm kinda busy right now.

  Amanda : Actually, uh, I was talking about Salem. Hey, little buddy.

  [goes over to greet him] 

  Salem Saberhagen : [coughing]  This place is smokier than the bathroom in an all-girls school.

  Sabrina Spellman : Yeah, what's with the flashy entrance? I mean, you may think coming in here in smoke looks cool, but it's a disgusting habit.

  Amanda : Ugh, yeah, remind me to start listening again when the PSA is over.

  Sabrina Spellman : You're right, I'm not your mother. I shouldn't tell you what to do. Oh,put your hair back.

  [tries adjusting her niece's hairstyle] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Why hide such a beautiful face?

  [Amanda wards her off] 

• Morgan Cavanaugh : [gasps as rocker chick passes by]  That was Avril. She's headed for the bathroom.

  [jumps up] 

  Morgan Cavanaugh : I'm gonna ask her to sign my napkin.

  Sabrina Spellman : Roxie, please go with her and keep her from crawling under the stall.

  Roxie King : You're right. We don't need a repeat of the Aretha Franklin incident.

• Mickey Brentwood : [night-club owner]  If you print that story, you'll never work again. You know what I'm saying, blond person?

  Sabrina Spellman : [as he goes off]  Yeah, you're saying you had onions for lunch.

  [looks disgusted] 

• Roxie King : Are you sure you wanna go ahead with this story?

  Sabrina Spellman : Absolutely. It's an incredible scoop.

  Roxie King : Oh, I don't like this. You've been threatened by a night-club owner. Don't you watch HBO?

  Sabrina Spellman : What are you saying? I'm gonna be sleeping with the fishes? Wearing a cement overcoat? Have a boulder dropped on me from a cement overpass? Wait, that's from The Road Runner.

  Roxie King : Okay, fine, but if Wile E. Coyote tries to flatten you with an Acme anvil, don't come running to me.

  [leaves] 

• Amanda : [smoky explosion]  Hey, wanna join me for an emergency trip to Paris for silver hooped earrings?

  Sabrina Spellman : [waving smoke away]  Uh, no, thanks, it already feels like a French bistro in here. Besides, I'm working on an article.

  Amanda : Ugh. Snooze.

  Salem Saberhagen : Actually not, for a change. You see, this thug night-club owner threatened our little Lois Lame over here...

  [Sabrina zaps him, and he loses his head, which calls out:] 

  Salem Saberhagen : Oh, I hate it when you cut me off!

• Annie : Let me get this straight. You were all excited about doing this article this morning, now you don't wanna write it.

  Sabrina Spellman : Well, it's not that I don't wanna write it, it's just that... uh, this is kind of a left-brain type article. And I just happened to sleep on my left side last night, so that side of the brain is really numb. Now the right side is feeling bitter and neglected...

  Annie : Oh, can't you just call in sick like normal people?

  Sabrina Spellman : Well, that would be a left-brain function, so...

• Sabrina Spellman : [needs protection, but Leonard has bailed on her]  Any other secret admirers wanna come home with me tonight? Uh, any professional wrestlers? Thai kick-boxers?

  [no response, gets desperate:] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Anyone with super-hero pajamas?

• Amanda : Okay, let's go down to that club and witch-slap this guy.

  Sabrina Spellman : Oh, we don't have to go. He was just here.

  Amanda : What? What happened? Are you okay?

  Sabrina Spellman : I'm fine, it's all taken care of. He won't be bothering me anymore.

  Amanda : Oh, I'm so relieved.

  [hugs Sabrina] 

  Sabrina Spellman : You know, we should make it a point to hang out more often. And not just when one of our lives is at stake.

  Amanda : Yeah, I'd like that.