- Sabrina Spellman: [smoky explosion in kitchen] Amanda, is that you?
- Amanda: [emerging from smoke cloud] Yeah. You know, I've been so bored, I thought I'd come by and hang out with someone cool.
- Sabrina Spellman: Oh, well, I'm kinda busy right now.
- Amanda: Actually, uh, I was talking about Salem. Hey, little buddy.
- [goes over to greet him]
- Salem Saberhagen: [coughing] This place is smokier than the bathroom in an all-girls school.
- Sabrina Spellman: Yeah, what's with the flashy entrance? I mean, you may think coming in here in smoke looks cool, but it's a disgusting habit.
- Amanda: Ugh, yeah, remind me to start listening again when the PSA is over.
- Sabrina Spellman: You're right, I'm not your mother. I shouldn't tell you what to do. Oh,put your hair back.
- [tries adjusting her niece's hairstyle]
- Sabrina Spellman: Why hide such a beautiful face?
- [Amanda wards her off]
- Morgan Cavanaugh: [gasps as rocker chick passes by] That was Avril. She's headed for the bathroom.
- [jumps up]
- Morgan Cavanaugh: I'm gonna ask her to sign my napkin.
- Sabrina Spellman: Roxie, please go with her and keep her from crawling under the stall.
- Roxie King: You're right. We don't need a repeat of the Aretha Franklin incident.
- Mickey Brentwood: [night-club owner] If you print that story, you'll never work again. You know what I'm saying, blond person?
- Sabrina Spellman: [as he goes off] Yeah, you're saying you had onions for lunch.
- [looks disgusted]
- Roxie King: Are you sure you wanna go ahead with this story?
- Sabrina Spellman: Absolutely. It's an incredible scoop.
- Roxie King: Oh, I don't like this. You've been threatened by a night-club owner. Don't you watch HBO?
- Sabrina Spellman: What are you saying? I'm gonna be sleeping with the fishes? Wearing a cement overcoat? Have a boulder dropped on me from a cement overpass? Wait, that's from The Road Runner.
- Roxie King: Okay, fine, but if Wile E. Coyote tries to flatten you with an Acme anvil, don't come running to me.
- [leaves]
- Amanda: [smoky explosion] Hey, wanna join me for an emergency trip to Paris for silver hooped earrings?
- Sabrina Spellman: [waving smoke away] Uh, no, thanks, it already feels like a French bistro in here. Besides, I'm working on an article.
- Amanda: Ugh. Snooze.
- Salem Saberhagen: Actually not, for a change. You see, this thug night-club owner threatened our little Lois Lame over here...
- [Sabrina zaps him, and he loses his head, which calls out:]
- Salem Saberhagen: Oh, I hate it when you cut me off!
- Annie: Let me get this straight. You were all excited about doing this article this morning, now you don't wanna write it.
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, it's not that I don't wanna write it, it's just that... uh, this is kind of a left-brain type article. And I just happened to sleep on my left side last night, so that side of the brain is really numb. Now the right side is feeling bitter and neglected...
- Annie: Oh, can't you just call in sick like normal people?
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, that would be a left-brain function, so...
- Sabrina Spellman: [needs protection, but Leonard has bailed on her] Any other secret admirers wanna come home with me tonight? Uh, any professional wrestlers? Thai kick-boxers?
- [no response, gets desperate:]
- Sabrina Spellman: Anyone with super-hero pajamas?
- Amanda: Okay, let's go down to that club and witch-slap this guy.
- Sabrina Spellman: Oh, we don't have to go. He was just here.
- Amanda: What? What happened? Are you okay?
- Sabrina Spellman: I'm fine, it's all taken care of. He won't be bothering me anymore.
- Amanda: Oh, I'm so relieved.
- [hugs Sabrina]
- Sabrina Spellman: You know, we should make it a point to hang out more often. And not just when one of our lives is at stake.
- Amanda: Yeah, I'd like that.