- Zelda Spellman: [as screeching laughs erupt] Oh, that noise! It's worse than nails on a blackboard.
- Sabrina Spellman: I think it's great. I haven't seen Aunt Hilda this happy since she went water-bed shopping with Casanova.
- Eugene: Oddly enough, this isn't the first time I've been left for a small appliance.
- Sabrina Spellman: You really are funny.
- Eugene: That wasn't a joke.