Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Chinese Restaurant (1991)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry Seinfeld : I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers.

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : I'm on the street the other day, make a pay phone call, go overtime on the call, hang up the phone, walk away. You've had this happen? Phone rings. It's the phone company. They want more money. Don't you love this? And you've got them right where you want them for the first time in your life. You're on the street. There's nothing they can do. I like to let it ring a few times, you know, let her sweat a little over there, and then just pick it up. "Yeah, hello, operator? Oh, I've got the money. I've got the money right here. Do you hear that? That's a quarter. Yeah, you want that, don't you?"

• [last lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Hunger will make people do amazing things. I mean, the proof of that is cannibalism. Cannibalism. What...? What do they say? I mean, they're eating, you know? "This is good. Who is this? I like this person." You know, I mean... I would think the hardest thing about being a cannibal is trying to get some really deep sleep. You know what I mean? I would think you'd be like... "What is it? Who is that? Who's there? Who's there? Is somebody there? What do you want? What do you want? You look hungry. Are you hungry? Get out of here."