Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Secretary (1994)
Jason Alexander: George Costanza
Photos
Quotes
-
George Costanza : I am telling you, Jerry, having a secretary is incredible! I don't know why I didn't have one before.
Jerry Seinfeld : Because you didn't have a job?
George Costanza : Perhaps.
-
Jerry Seinfeld : It's amazing! You're getting a secretary! Last week you were taking messages for your mother.
George Costanza : And now someone will be taking messages for ME!
Jerry Seinfeld : From your mother.
-
Jerry Seinfeld : So you're having sex and then all of a sudden, you just blurt out "I'm giving you a raise."
George Costanza : Yeah.
Jerry Seinfeld : Just a quick sidebar here. Are you, in any way, authorized to give raises?
George Costanza : Not that I'm aware of, no.
Jerry Seinfeld : So you're so grateful to have sex that you'll just shout out anything that comes into your head.
George Costanza : I didn't think ahead.
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, maybe she'll just think it was bawdy talk.
George Costanza : I didn't say any other bawdy things.
Jerry Seinfeld : Maybe you could have sex with her again and take it back.
-
George Costanza : You're luscious. You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra.
-
George Costanza : Well, Miss Coggins, you're obviously qualified for the job. You have all the necessary skills and experience, but you're extremely attractive. You're gorgeous, and looking at you, I can't even remember my name.
-
George Costanza : It's like I'm thinking of something and you're
[snaps his fingers]
George Costanza : one step ahead of me.
Ada : What can I say? I'm... I'm good at what I do.
George Costanza : Do you, uh, do you know what I'm thinking about now?
Ada : Yes, I think I do.
George Costanza : Is it, uh, doable?
Ada : It's definitely doable.
-
Elaine Benes : Skinny mirrors! Barney's has skinny mirrors! They make you look like 10 pounds lighter.
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh you're crazy.
Elaine Benes : Am I? Do ya think I would have bought this dress if I looked like this at Barney's?
George Costanza : You know, I think she may have something there.
-
George Costanza : Her mother's in the hospital right now. It's some kind of a diverticulitis.
George Steinbrenner : I had a bout of that myself one time. Knocked me right on my ass.