Photos
Quotes
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[In Central Park, George is taking a walk with Kelly, whom he believes to be single]
Kelly : I'm just doing this waitress thing for a while, because I wanted to go to Europe this summer and I could use a few extra... Careful.
[She points to the ground, so that George will see the fresh horse manure and avoid stepping in it]
George Costanza : Oh. It's just horse manure. Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind the word 'manure.' You know, it's, it's 'newer,' which is good. And a 'ma' in front of it. MA-NURE. When you consider the other choices, 'manure' is actually pretty refreshing.
Kelly : That's a nice watch, George.
George Costanza : Yeah.
Kelly : You know, my boyfriend has the same one.
George Costanza : [She has a boyfriend?] Huh. Really?
Kelly : Yeah, he loves watches. He's a real watch freak.
George Costanza : Well, how about that?
Kelly : Ooh, look out. You stepped right in it.
George Costanza : Yes, I sure did.
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[Jerry and George are at Monk's]
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, no, it's Kenny. Slide out so he can't sit down.
[George and Jerry each slide to the end of their booth seats]
Kenny : Hey.
Jerry Seinfeld : Hey.
Kenny : You worn the suit yet?
Jerry Seinfeld : Actually, I did. I put it on last night and slept in it.
Kenny : You did?
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, I'm joking.
Kenny : OH! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Can I squeeze in?
George Costanza : [bleakly] Sure you can.
Kelly : Can I take your order?
Kenny : What kind of soup do you have?
Jerry Seinfeld : Why don't you get a sandwich?
Kenny : Okay, I'll have tomato soup and, ah, tuna on toast.
Jerry Seinfeld : Okay. This is it, you know. This is the meal, so stock up, buddy boy.
Kenny : What are you talking about? This isn't a meal.
Jerry Seinfeld : Yes it is. Soup and sandwich. That is a meal.
Kenny : You're supposed to buy me dinner in a nice restaurant, like Mendy's.
Jerry Seinfeld : I tried to do that.
Kenny : This is lunch in a coffee shop.
Jerry Seinfeld : Doesn't matter, this is it. This completes the transaction.
Kenny : Ah, soup and a sandwich for a brand-new Armani suit. Is that any kind of gesture?
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Jerry Seinfeld : So, you just pretended it didn't bother you?
George Costanza : What is that, 'boyfriend'? I don't understand that. What, what does she think I asked her out for?
Jerry Seinfeld : Boy, it's the way they just slip that in there, too.
George Costanza : Yeah, like it's just part of the conversation. 'Oh, my boyfriend really likes watches. He's a real watch freak.' Well, that's fabulous.
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, let me ask you this. What exactly did you say when you asked her out?
George Costanza : I said, 'Would you like to go for a walk or something?'
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, a walk, well...
George Costanza : Or something. I said, 'Or something'!
Jerry Seinfeld : Or something. Yeah, that's a date.
George Costanza : [missing the sardonic tone] There you go!
Jerry Seinfeld : You know, there is always the possibility that she called an audible.
George Costanza : What do you mean?
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, she got up to the line of scrimmage, didn't like the looks of the defense and changed the play.
George Costanza : I think things were going okay. We were having a nice conversation.
Jerry Seinfeld : Uh huh.
George Costanza : I mentioned how I liked horse manure.
Jerry Seinfeld : You did?
George Costanza : Yeah.
Jerry Seinfeld : Yeah. You said you liked horse manure.
George Costanza : Yeah. You know, about how when you break it down, it's really a very positive thing. You know, you have a 'newer,' with a 'ma' in front of it. MA-NURE. It's not bad.
Jerry Seinfeld : And it was around this point that she mentioned the boyfriend?
George Costanza : Yeah. Oh, you think because of what I said about the manure. I was just saying how it takes a negative thing, and puts a positive spin on it.
Jerry Seinfeld : I'm just saying there's a chance she may not have been enamored with your thoughts and feelings on manure.
George Costanza : So you don't think she really has a boyfriend?
Jerry Seinfeld : My honest opinion, I think she made it up.
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George Costanza : Do you think she thinks I have a beautiful face or is she just saying that?
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, they do work on tips.
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[Jerry and George are at Monk's Cafe]
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh no, it's Kenny Bania.
George Costanza : Who's he?
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, he's this awful comedian.
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Kenny : Oh, Jerry, you know what just hit me? I was thinking - What size suit are you?
Jerry Seinfeld : Ahh, I'm a 40. Why?
Kenny : I just got a brand new Armani suit - doesn't fit me anymore. You want it?
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, I don't know if I...
Kenny : Oh, come on. Why should it just sit in the closet?
Elaine Benes : An Armani suit?
George Costanza : Take the suit!
Jerry Seinfeld : Well... okay, I guess...
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Kramer : All right, ooh, look at that Armani, huh? Yeah.
[Jerry takes the jacket off and throws it onto the table]
Jerry Seinfeld : Yeah, that's a deal. That's a horrible deal. I don't want to go out to dinner with him. I'd rather make my own suit.
George Costanza : [entering Jerry's apartment] I did it! It's all done!
Jerry Seinfeld : Hey!
[raises hands into "fists of encouragement"]
George Costanza : I did it. Hunh. We're going out as soon as she gets off of work and it'll still be daytime. You know I, I'm much better in the daytime than I am at night. It's less pressure.
Jerry Seinfeld : I love the day date. No wine, no shower.