- Officer Danielle "Danny" Sofer: They want to talk to a captain.
- Captain Steve Billings: And I want more hair.
- Claudette Wyms: [about Tina] She's way too young for you.
- Holland Wagenbach: I am mature and distinguished. A lot of young women appreciate that.
- Claudette Wyms: You really oughta cut back on the porn.