The Simpsons (TV Series)

Cape Feare (1993)

Hank Azaria: Chief Wiggum, Lou, Moe Szyslak, Snake Jailbird, Obengruppenfuhrer Wolfcastle, General Krull, Parole Board Officer, Ernest P. Worrell, FBI Man #2

Quotes 

• Bart : Take him away, boys.

  Chief Wiggum : Hey, I'm the chief here. Bake him away, toys.

  Lou : What'd you say, Chief?

  Chief Wiggum : Do what the kid says.

• Lisa : Hey, a letter from my pen-pal, Anya.

  Anya : [reading, Anya narrates]  Dear Lisa, as I write this, I am very sad. Our President has been overthrown and...

  [Voice changes] 

  General Krull : ...replaced, by the benevolent General Krull. All hail Krull, and his glorious regime! Sincerly, little girl.

• Announcer : Ladies and gentlemen, it's Up Late With McBain! I'm your host, Corporal Obengruppenfuhrer Wolfcastle. And now, here's McBain!

  [McBain walks out on stage] 

  Rainer Wolfcastle : Ja, thank you, ja. Let's hear it for my music guy, Skoey. That's some outfit, Skoey. It makes you look like a homosexual.

  [audience boos] 

  Rainer Wolfcastle : Well, maybe you all are homosexuals, too.

  [audience boos] 

• Police Chief Wiggum : You're under arrest, Sideshow Bob!

  Sideshow Bob : BY LUCIFER'S BEARD!

  Police Chief Wiggum : Uh... Yeah. It's a good thing you drifted by this brothel!

• Blue-Haired Lawyer : Robert, if released, would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?

  Sideshow Bob : Bart Simpson?

  [chuckles] 

  Sideshow Bob : The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hellhole?

  Parole Board Officer : Uh, we object to the term "urine-soaked hellhole", when you could have said "pee-pee soaked heckhole."

  Sideshow Bob : Cheerfully withdrawn.

• [after writing a death threat to Bart in blood, Bob starts writing another letter with his bleeding finger] 

  Sideshow Bob : "Dear 'Life in These United States,' a funny thing happened to me...?

  [as his finger bleeds freely, he sways, woozy, and collapses onto the desk] 

  Snake : Use a pen, Sideshow Bob.

• Chief Wiggum : Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum!

  [everybody in court house laughs] 

  Chief Wiggum : Oh wait, I get it, he's all right.

• Announcer : [Opening scene, Bart and Lisa are watching TV]  Ladies and gentlemen, it's Up Late With McBain. I'm your announcer, Obergruppenfuehrer Wolfcastle. And here's McBain!

  Rainer Wolfcastle : Ja. Thank you. Ja. That's nice. Let's say hello to my music guy, Scoey.

  [studio audience cheering and applauding] 

  Rainer Wolfcastle : That is some outfit, Scoey. It makes you look like a homosexual.

  Rainer Wolfcastle : [studio audience booing]  Oh. Maybe you all are homosexuals too.

  Bart : This is horrible. The Fox network has sunk to a new low.

• FBI Man #2 : We have places your family can hide in peace and security. Cape Fear, Terror Lake, New Horrorfield, Screamville.

  Homer : Ooh! Ice Cream-Ville!

  FBI Man #2 : No, Screamville.

  Homer : AAH!

• FBI Man #1 : Don't worry, Mrs. Simpson. We've helped hundreds of people in danger. We'll give you a new name, a new job, new identities.

  Homer : Ooh! I wanna be John Elway!

  [dissolve to Homer's daydream as a football player wearing old-fashioned leather uniforms while all the others wear modern football uniforms] 

  Announcer : Elway takes the snap and runs it in for a touchdown! Thanks to Elway's patented last-second magic, the final score of Super Bowl XXX, Denver - 7, San Francisco - 56.

  Homer : [back to reality]  Woohoo!