The Simpsons (TV Series)

Cape Feare (1993)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier

Quotes 

• [Sideshow Bob ties up the rest of the Simpsons, then goes to Bart's room to kill him. All of the Simpsons struggle against their bonds except Homer, who is snoring and drooling on the deck] 

  Lisa : Oh, no! Dad's been drugged!

  Marge : [annoyed]  No, he hasn't.

• Marge : You awful man! Stay away from my son!

  Sideshow Bob : [menacing]  Oh, I'll stay away from your son, all right! Stay away... FOREVER!

  Homer : Oh, no!

  Sideshow Bob : Wait a minute. That's no good.

  [walks away, then runs back] 

  Sideshow Bob : Wait, I've got a good one now! Marge, say "stay away from my son" again.

  Marge : No!

• Selma : Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.

  Blue-Haired Lawyer : How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?

  [a few people raise their hands] 

  Blue-Haired Lawyer : Be honest...

  [everyone raises their hand; a man gasps when he notices Patty] 

  Patty : Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.

• Marge : [looking at Bart's collection of death threats]  Hmm, this one's done in different handwriting.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, uh, I wrote that one, after Bart somehow put this tattoo on my butt.

  [Homer drops his pants, revealing a "wide load" tattoo on his rear end. Everyone laughs] 

  Nelson : [outside the window]  Ha ha!

  Bart : But who'd want to hurt me? I'm this century's Dennis The Menace.

  Homer Simpson : It's probably the person you least suspect.

  Lisa : That's good, Dad.

  Grampa : I say we call Matlock. He'll find the culprit! It's probably that evil Gavin MacLeod or George Guberlindsey.

  Bart : Grandpa, Matlock's not real.

  Grampa : Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob, if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste. Now that's good eatin'!

• [getting death threat letters has made Bart paranoid on his way to school] 

  Marge : [menacingly, with large scissors]  Bart... I'm going to GET you...

  [brightly, clipping coupons] 

  Marge : ...some ice cream at the store since I'm saving so much money on Diet Cola.

  [Bart walks down the street] 

  Ned Flanders : [menacingly, wearing a Freddy Kruger razor glove]  Say your prayers, Simpson...

  [brightly] 

  Ned Flanders : ...because the schools can't force you like they should.

  [to Maude] 

  Ned Flanders : Maude, these new finger razors make hedge trimming as much fun as sitting through church.

  [Bart enters class] 

  Mrs. Krabappel : [menacingly]  You're going to be my murder victim, Bart...

  [brightly] 

  Mrs. Krabappel : ...in our school production of Lizzy Borden, starring Martin Prince as Lizzy.

  [Martin is wearing a dress and a wig, wielding an axe] 

  Martin Prince : Forty whacks with a wet noodle, Bart.

• [last lines] 

  Marge : [as the car pulls up in front of the house]  It's so good to be home again.

  Grampa Simpson : [who has somehow become a woman complete with long hair and lipstick, rushes towards the car]  Look what happened without my pills!

  Marge : [gasps]  Bart! Run upstairs, get Grampa's medicine!

  Jasper Beardly : [appears, dressed in his finest]  Not so fast.

  [Jasper takes his hat off and takes out a bunch of flowers and hands them to Abe] 

  Jasper Beardly : I wanna court this fair young maiden.

  [the screen fades out in a heart shape and the credits roll] 

  Grampa Simpson : [to Jasper]  There's something you should know about me.

  Jasper Beardly : I've got Steve and Edie tickets.

  Grampa Simpson : I'm all yours.

  [Abe kisses Jasper]