The Simpsons (TV Series)

D'oh-in' in the Wind (1998)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Grampa, Krusty, Groundskeeper Willie, Barney, Skeleton, Rolling Stone Lips

Quotes 

• Seth : You know Homer, your Mom was a pretty groovy chick.

  Munchie : And a demon in the sack!

  [Seth and Munchie laugh] 

  Grampa Simpson : Oh, you heard about that, eh?

  [laughs] 

• Grampa Simpson : Hmm... I know where we might find your missing moniker. It's a bit of a drive, but on the way, we can have a nice father-son chat

  Homer Simpson : Great! I'll go shoot myself for bringing this up.

• Lisa Simpson : [the Family is at the hospital with Homer having a stem of a flower sticking out of his forehead]  Are you gonna remove the flower?

  Dr. Hibbert : [laughs]  I'm a doctor, not a gardener.

  Homer Simpson : Well, can you at least cut the leaves off so I can watch T.V.?

  Dr. Hibbert : [Sternly]  What did I just say?

• Lisa Simpson : Dad, do you mind? Your feet are really close to my potato.

  Homer Simpson : Your potato? You can't, like, own a potato, man. It's one of Mother Earth's creatures.

  [he burps] 

  Marge Simpson : Homer! Excuse yourself!

  Homer Simpson : No way, narc! Bodily functions are a natural thing.

  Bart Simpson : Not to mention hilarious.

  Marge Simpson : You know, I really don't appreciate being called a narc. And that poncho is filthy! Let me dry-clean it for you.

  Homer Simpson : Why do you have to turn everything into one big plastic hassle? Marge, you've got too many hang-ups. Like the whole shaving trip. Come on, I want to see those legs all furry and gross!

  Marge Simpson : That ain't gonna happen, bub.

  Homer Simpson : Well, at least lose the bra. Free the Springfield Two, Marge! Free the Springfield Two!

• Homer Simpson : You may crush our bodies and our ponchos, but you'll never silence our song of protest!

  [sings] 

  Homer Simpson : "Uptown Girl, she's been living in her white-bread world..."

• Bart Simpson : Hey, what the heck is your middle name, anyway?

  Homer Simpson : You know, I have no idea! Hey, Dad, what does the "J" stand for?

  Grampa Simpson : How should I know? It was your mother's job to name you, and love you and such. I was mainly in it for the spanking.

• Homer Simpson : But I can't ask Mom, she's on the run from the law!

  Grampa Simpson : Serves her right for being a sixties radical! Though she was a demon in the sack!

  [giggles] 

• Homer Simpson : Hear ye, hear ye! The intergalactic jester proclaims this conformity factory closed!

  [Kids cheer and burst out of the school] 

  Principal Seymour Skinner : 15 years of loyal service and this is how they tell me? A jester with an invisible proclamation?

• Young Homer : How could you let me turn into you?

  Homer Simpson : But, but, but, but... the poncho...

  Young Homer : [mimicking]  "Buh, buh, buh, buh, the poncho!" Hit the road, square!

• [Homer is in a car with hippies Seth and Munchie. Marge is walking down the street] 

  Homer : Hi, Marge. We're freaking out squares.

  Marge : Oh, Lord...

  Homer : What's in your brand new bag, momma?

  Marge : Oh, it's that pair of Dockers you wanted. Forty-eight waist with the balloon seat, right?

  Homer : [panicking]  Marge, not in front of the hippies.

  [Seth and Munchie laugh] 

• Hippie Chick 1 : Oh, Homer J., how do you keep your hair so rich and full?

  Homer Simpson : Lather, rinse, and repeat. Always repeat.

  Hippie Chick 2 : Homer J., will you teach us to make love?

  [back to reality] 

  Homer Simpson : Wow. I could have lived like that?

• Homer Simpson : I guess the juice business is more important than the ideals our hippie forefathers refused to go to war and die for.

• Homer Simpson : Have no fear, the Cosmic Fool is here, to blow the lid off your conformist button-down world!

• [Homer has to write his full name on an application form but he doesn't know what his middle initial stands for] 

  Bart : Uh, so Dad, regarding that form, why not just make up a middle name?

  Lisa : You might as well. You already made up a phony film credit.

  Homer : No. Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has and he never will.

  Marge : You lied dozens of times on our mortgage application.

  Homer : Yeah, but they were all part of a single ball of lies. The point is, I'm a grown man, and I deserve a middle name.