The Simpsons (TV Series)

How I Spent My Strummer Vacation (2002)

Harry Shearer: Lenny, 'Monkey Trauma Center' Announcer, Otto, Principal Skinner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tom Petty : Lyrics are the hardest part of songwriting. But when you come up with something meaningful and heartfelt...

  Homer : Boring!

  Tom Petty : Will you stop saying that?

  Homer : But rock stars are supposed to be about drinking and getting drunk and boozing it up.

  Apu Nahasapeemapetilon : And girls that have legs and know how to use them.

  Otto : A-And why I can't drive 55.

  Tom Petty : You just want mindless generic rock?

  Homer : Precisely.

• Homer : All right, time for my favorite show.

  'Monkey Trauma Center' Announcer : "MTC: Monkey Trauma Center" will not be seen tonight...

  Homer : [disappointed]  Aw.

  'Monkey Trauma Center' Announcer : ...so we may proudly present this much cheaper show.

  Taxicab Conversations Announcer : [sultry voice]  "Taxicab Conversations."

  Lisa : Hey, I read about this show in "Teen Modern Maturity". They film passengers with hidden cameras and catch them at their most uninhibited.

  Marge : That explains that.

  Female Cab Driver : [leaving a nightclub, Disco Stu gets in her cab]  Looks like somebody got down tonight.

  Disco Stu : Disco Stu always gets down, baby. 'Cause when the beat is hot, the...

  [sighing] 

  Disco Stu : Hey, can you keep a secret?

  Female Cab Driver : What is it, hon?

  Disco Stu : [dropping his act]  I hate disco. It's all I've talked about for so long that people think I'm a one-note guy. It's just getting harder, you know?

  Lisa : I had no idea Disco Stu was so complex.

• Carl : You wouldn't serve Homer just 'cause he didn't have money?

  Lenny : What happened to you, Moe? You used to be about the booze.

  Moe Szyslak : Ah, yeah. I guess I got caught up in all the glitz and glamor.

  [on the countertop, a rat nibbles on a pretzel] 

  Homer : [entering, wasted]  Well, Moe.

  Moe Szyslak : Homer, I'm so sorry. Have a free beer.

  Homer : Oh.

  [taking a sip] 

  Homer : Uh, I don't care about the color of your skin, Lenny. You're my friend.

  Lenny : Man, I've never seen anybody get loaded so fast.

  Moe Szyslak : Homer, can you say the alphabet backwards?

  Homer : Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? You...

  Carl : Hey, I'm worried.

  Homer : I've had just about enough of you.

  Carl : [shaking his fist as Homer shoves him]  Oh, yeah?

  Homer : Uh-uh.

  [showing him a pin that reads "Be nice to me. I gave blood."] 

  Carl : Ah, rats.

• Homer : You're rock stars. You're supposed to be reckless and destructive and be celebrated for behavior that would land normal people in jail.

  Keith Richards : That's what I told 'em, Homer. But just the same, we'd like to make it up to you.

  Mick Jagger : We're doing a gig tomorrow to benefit the victims of tonight's gig. And we'd consider it an honor if you'd join us.

  [holding up a jacket with "guitar hero" stitched on the back] 

  Homer : Well, you're very sweet, Mick. But the only rocking I wanna do is in my living room chair surrounded by the world's greatest backup group, my family.

  Lisa : [transition to him taking the kids to school the following day]  Are you sure you don't miss hanging out with your rock-star friends, Dad?

  Homer : No, I got something to remember 'em by.

  [he chuckles as it's revealed he's driving the Satan-head stage prop] 

  Homer : Have fun at school, kids.

  Bart Simpson : Later, Homer.

  Principal Skinner : Mr. Simpson, this zone is for school buses only.

  Homer : [using the flame thrower to burn off Skinner's clothes]  Rock and roll! Whoo-hoo!