The Simpsons (TV Series)

Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore (2004)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson

Quotes 

• [after Milhouse moves out of town, Skinner and Willie are shocked to learn that Bart and Lisa have become best friends] 

  Groundskeeper Willie : It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

  Principal Skinner : You Scots sure are a contentious people.

  Groundskeeper Willie : You just made an enemy for life!

• Homer : [Bart has offended Lisa, and he's surprised she's visibly angry at him after saying that nothing is wrong between them]  Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong. When a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong. And when a woman says that something *isn't* funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

• Homer Simpson : [drunk]  But I don't wanna go home. I'm not done talking to me.

• Homer Simpson : [Upon hearing of Apu and Manjula's wedding anniversary]  That's great! I'm honoured to drink to Apu and uh... Apulina!

• Homer Simpson : [after a woman gives him money thinking he is a beggar]  Five bucks? I don't need your charity. I'll dance for my money!

  [Begins to dance while humming a belly dancing theme] 

• Yes Guy : [Homer dressed as a bum enters an expensive store]  Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

  [Homer flashes his money] 

  Yes Guy : Oh ye-e-e-e-e-s!

• Lisa Simpson : [Thinking]  Oh my God, my brother's my best friend!

  Marge Simpson : [Thinking]  Diamonds! I can't believe he bought me diamonds!

  Homer Simpson : [Thinking whilst looking in the mirror]  Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the baldest one of all?

• Homer Simpson : Coke and Pepsi are the same thing! Wake up, people!