- Nate Fisher: Yeah, I'll have a double dub - uh - uh - a - a Chubby - a double Chubby - a Chubby Chubby - a double double - a double chubby - a chubby chubby - a chub - I'll have a doub - I'll have a double Chubby cheeseburger.
- [scrunches eyes, in a major headache]
- Nate Fisher: Oh, fuck me!
- Taylor: [curiously] My mom says my uncle Keith is a punk-ass fudge packer because he likes men instead of women. Does that mean that you're a punk-ass fudge packer, too?
- Margaret Chenowith: [her and Bern's rules for having sex with others] You can't fuck my friends, I can't fuck yours. No fucking of mutual friends. Never in Hawaii. Never in a hotel that costs more than $300 a night. And never in a hotel that's under $75 a night. Not on holidays. And there are others, I just can't remember all of them at the moment.
- Brenda Chenowith: Why am I here? Why was it necessary for me to be here with you for this? Because you needed a fucking audience!
- Margaret Chenowith: Not everything is about you, Brenda.
- Brenda Chenowith: Look at mammy! Isn't mammy pretty? Isn't mammy fabulous, free spirited, and uninhibited. Validate mammy kids, because she's incapable of doing it herself. No wonder Billy ended up in a psych ward. Not that you care!
- Margaret Chenowith: For your information, miss high-and-mighty: this is life! People have crises, they push each other's buttons, they inflict pain on one another, and once in a fucking blue moon they bring out the best in each other. But mostly they bring out the worst.
- Brenda Chenowith: You're pathetic.
- Margaret Chenowith: Don't you dare judge me! You think you're the paragon of mental health because you have been dating the same man for the past few months. That's real, compared to what your father and I have?
- Brenda Chenowith: You're just jealous.
- Margaret Chenowith: Pfff... Of what?
- Brenda Chenowith: Of the fact that I haven't allowed you to totally destroy my life like you have everybody else's.
- Margaret Chenowith: What life? You've spent thirty-two years being your little brother's nurse maid...
- Brenda Chenowith: Fuck you!
- Margaret Chenowith: ...only to avoid having any emotional life of your own. And now that he's been put a away, you're gonna have to face your own demons. And sweetheart, they are legion!
- [Brenda slaps her mother in the face]
- Margaret Chenowith: Get out of my car!
- Brenda Chenowith: I'd be happy to.
- Claire Fisher: Y'know, people don't spaz out and hork all over their shoes for no good reason, Nate.
- Nate Fisher: Two words, tofu meatloaf.
- Claire Fisher: Who are you talking to?
- Lisa Kimmel: Ants. I'm being overrun by them. At first I tried setting a little food aside for them next to the back door, then I tried coaxing them out with some citrus oil. Now I'm trying to reason with them.
- Claire Fisher: At home, my dad used to squirt 'em with lighter fluid and torch 'em.
- Ruth Fisher: You have to be careful with children, David. Because their blueprints are still being drafted by the adults in their lives, and this little girl... Well, it seems to me that her foundation is probably unstable enough without you bringing your...
- David Fisher: My what?
- Ruth Fisher: Well, your relationship with her uncle, you have to admit might be a little confusing to someone her age.
- David Fisher: Mom... I'm happy for you if this whole plan thing of yours has enabled you to draft your own blueprint, or patch up some of the cracks in your foundation, but just between you and me, you're starting to sound like a crazy person. And I think it's time you kept that shit to yourself and mind your own fucking business.