- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You know, there's this Russian woman. She told me something that's very true. She said, only here, in America, do we expect to be happy. I mean this woman, she had a terrible leg disease since she was 9. She was dirt poor. She's getting on with her life. I mean, over here, we come and we bitch to shrinks. I mean, what the fuck?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well, part of that may be true. But, who said that after getting out of the dirt and the poverty, do we have to stop looking for pain and truth?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Pain and truth? Come on, I'm a fat fucking crook from New Jersey.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Look Carmine, you basically know what's going on with your dad, Johnny, and us over in Jersey
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: First let me say I understand and I appreciate the respect you've shown by coming down here and reaching out this time
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Always
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: And I'll also go on record and say I know my old man can be a tough nut to crack
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I don't want to "crack nuts", but I will
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: I feel the anger
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: When I try for the second time on a separate issue entirely to make an accommodation and he don't even make a counter offer: where's his respect?
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: I have no way of knowing what kind of advice his getting from Johnny
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Johnny's always usually a voice of moderation: me and him get along good, so with all due respect let's not jump in and blame Johnny
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: True, John's a pragmatist but his also a greedy mother fucker
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: He lives above his head
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: Look Tony, all I can promise you is I will look into it
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I understand you've got feel out your old man so we don't give you "armatz" for sticking your nose into it
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: Tony I haven't been afraid of my father for quite some time
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Fair enough, but Carmine bear in mind he came onto my turf. He tried to recruit my mulignan. And worse, he roughed up my appraiser. If the proper response is not forthcoming in a business like time frame, my next move will not be further conversation
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: I get it
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Before shaking hands] oh, so you should know my next call will be to call Johnny Sack: to let him know we talked. he shouldn't feel blindsided
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: We want a forty percent position in your HUD business
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What, because I'm in on the other thing you think your entitled to reach into my pocket on this? That was a gesture of goodwill
- Carmine Lupertazzi: Tony, we've been down this road before: we share Zellman, therefore any of the fruits from Zellman, we're entitled to
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Are we done here?
- Carmine Lupertazzi: Fuckin Ralph, where's your point man on this thing? He missed his drops this week
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [before getting up and leaving] I don't know, maybe you can tell me?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: [when she checks on him] I'm alright
- Janice Soprano: The kids are fed
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: thank you
- Janice Soprano: What did you do with the cake today?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: cake?
- Janice Soprano: Your daughter said she saw it in the back of your car: she told me about it when I picked her up from practice
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: [sighs] I took it to Karen's grave... I buried it: today was our anniversary, fourteen years
- Janice Soprano: I wish you would've told me about it before I picked up the steaks from Outback, how often do you go to the grave?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Every day, that's what I miss the most: talking to her
- Janice Soprano: Believe me I know, I lost both my parents. It's very easy for people to give advice suck it up and move on, etc. I'm not gonna tell you that: grieving is a process. Sometimes courage isn't of value
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I bet you didn't counter offer
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: If this gets really bad, there could be a "change"
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Tony?
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: Suffice to say, now or in the future, Carmine won't forget you. As far as us talking like this...
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [interrupts him] Just because we're old friends and I know I can "blow off" a little "steam" with you
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: Cheaper than a bartender
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm only trying to bring good relations between the families as I always do and always will, no matter what happens or who's in charge
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [after noticing something's bothering him] What's with you?
- Junior Soprano: This competency hearing: delayed twice now, it's coming up on Friday. I don't whether to chill the champagne or shit in my pants
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You got shaving cream all over you, didn't you wash yourself off?
- Junior Soprano: It's that fuckin lighting upstairs: Bobby didn't put in the right wattage
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Alright, listen, we found out where the jurors meet before they get bused to the courthouse, if this mental competency thing don't work...
- Junior Soprano: [interrupts him] I don't want to talk about it
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: did you like the movie?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: [when she doesn't respond] what's the matter?
- Janice Soprano: you went to the cemetery today, didn't you?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: how do you know?
- Janice Soprano: because you got cemetery mud on your shoes
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: mud? What, you merged into your brother now? What do you know about mud? You've been spying on me? What, I can't go to the cemetery? I gotta get permission from you?
- Janice Soprano: we're talking about you, not me: the grave, the funeral, it's never ending, you don't wanna ever let it go, did you even pay the funeral bill yet?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I'm never gonna pay them, son of a bitch put an extra fifteen pounds on Karen, when they put her up
- Janice Soprano: this dispute with the bill, is morbid "clinging." This is exactly what I mean: we have a nice evening and you still have to talk about your dead wife
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: you invited me
- Janice Soprano: the other night at Tony's, your kids were trying to contact Karen on a Ouija board. I mean, what'd you expect? You're talking to a headstone
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: [sternly] she was my wife
- Janice Soprano: [angrily] she's dead and I am here
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: [irritated] shut the fuck up
- Janice Soprano: [before getting up from the table and leaving] you shut the fuck up
- Janice Soprano: [after coming home when noticing something's bothering him] Tell me about it
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: The kids were kind of quiet, but at their bedtime, all hell broke loose, they were crying and didn't want to be left alone, Sophia especially. They've been playing with that God damn Ouija board again
- Janice Soprano: I know
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: [referring to his recently deceased wife] They were trying to contact Karen
- Janice Soprano: I don't know what to say. I came over this afternoon with some poundcake
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I saw it
- Janice Soprano: I heard them in his room with that Ouija board, I thought this is not good but then after the other night, I didn't wanna overstep my bounds
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: It's my fault
- Janice Soprano: Hey, you're under a lot of stress, you're a single dad
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: No, you were right: it's bad for them, it's not wholesome
- Janice Soprano: You want me to go up?
- Janice Soprano: I think their asleep, finally. I had to read to Sophia for like an hour, she couldn't even handle Nancy Drew: it's so mysterious
- Janice Soprano: [when he notices she's holding something back] Go ahead
- Janice Soprano: It's just that the dead has nothing to say to us: it's our own narcissism that thinks they even care
- Janice Soprano: [when he doesn't respond, referring to the grief that comes with his wife's passing] It does get better with time
- Janice Soprano: Did you get anything to eat at least? Can I fix you something?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: No, it's too much trouble
- Janice Soprano: [while walking over to the refrigerator and opening it] No, it's not, I'm starving too. There's probably something in here?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: [after seeing Janice remove the ziti from the freezer] That's Karen's ziti: that's the last one she made
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to Svetlana] I broke a woman's heart, I told her, I couldn't see her no more. It's sad but there's no getting around it
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Who is she?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: She takes care of my uncle, runs an elder care agency. She took care of my mother too
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Your former girlfriend's cousin?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: That one, yeah
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [referring to a mistress] Is she your current comare?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: No, it was a brief fling kind of thing. You know, after a while, I felt like I had to cut off her legs ..not "legs", the affair, did I say "legs"?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Why did you cut it off?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Jesus, I am married
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: what happened?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I bought her this diamond pin when I'm "easing out the door", I'm such a fuckin prick. You know what? This is all bullshit, it was "she" that gave me my "walking papers", you believe that?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: what I meant was...
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [interrupts her] You know why she doesn't wanna see me anymore? She said I was "high maintenance" and this after all the time, and all the money, and all the fuckin Prozac, and all the cock suckin mother fuckin dream interpretations and she said she didn't wanna "prop" me up and this is from a broad that walks around on crutches half the time... nice huh?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: do you agree with her characterization of you?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I'm a miserable prick, I said it from day one
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: And you're no longer interested in changing? In finding a "way out"?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [after thinking it over] No, I guess not. I said this last time, you just didn't wanna hear it
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're paying me for my honest opinion, you should be in therapy
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: All this fuckin self-knowledge, what the fuck has it got me? Ok, maybe it got me some shit in the beginning, some leadership strategies, what we do now is that we sit around half the time "shooting the breeze" about philosophy, the Italians, my uncle Ercole
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I try to keep the focus on the work
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: So, when it goes off, it's my fault, ok, fine I accept that. You know what she says? This broad? She's from Russia, she was dirt poor, she had some kind of Osteosarcoma disease in her leg when she was nine. She says that nowhere else in the world that people expect to be happy except here in this country and still we're not and we got everything and when we don't, what do we do? We go to shrinks, for what, six, seven bucks a minute?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: There's some "truth" to what she says but should that be a source of shame? That when the desperate struggle for food and shelter is finally behind us? We can turn our attention to other sources of pain and truth?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Pain and truth? Come on, I'm a fat fuckin crook from New Jersey
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Now that the panic attacks and baseline depression have been dealt with, the real work can begin
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: See, I knew you'd say something like that
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Because it's true, when we're constantly not having to put out "fires", we can delve into who you are and what you're really after in your very brief time on this earth
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [shakes his head] I'm sorry, I don't wanna do this anymore and you can say that I'm running away, but I've been here longer than I thought I'd stay, longer than anybody thought I'd stay and you know what? I get no appreciation for it
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You've shown a lot of courage, I commend you on that
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well, thank for you commendation. Look, no fault, no foul, I appreciate everything you've done for me
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Come to your next appointment, one more time
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Look, you saved my life in the beginning and for all the times, I came on like an asshole, I'm very sorry
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [nods] You've got my number if you change your mind and if you begin to feel any of the old feelings, you need to call me
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring on how to say goodbye] So, what's "customary?" Shake hands?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [jokingly, before kissing her on the cheek] How about a diamond pin?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Last week we talked about you feeling like the "sad clown"
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Remains silent, takes a deep sigh]
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's going on now?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well, I had a dream the other night. I was riding in a Cadillac like my father used to have. Carmella was driving. I was in the back passenger seat. Sitting next to me was Gloria. Sitting in front of me next to Carmella was a business associate of mine. His the one whose son had the accident. I don't know where we were going, no place. We didn't seem to be going anywhere, kind of like this therapy. And it was hot in the car: it was stuffy. There was no air conditioning and that's all of it. Oh and my friend had a caterpillar on his head and turned into a butterfly
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Has your friend recently changed?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Not "friend", business associate, and no
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What'd you think the dream means?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Can't you just fuckin what the fuckin dream means? I mean you obviously know. Why do we have to go through this exercise every time?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I don't obviously know. I didn't have the dream. The meaning is illicit, it's re-verbalization
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Remains silent, waiting for her to explain his dream]
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: OK your wife,your mistress, a business associate, you, all in the same car? Your father's car
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: With my wife driving, which if my father were alive he wouldn't have stood for it for two fuckin seconds
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I hear anger
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: No, I'm just saying the old guys were different: men in the front, wives in the back
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You like that arrangement
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Jokingly] actually I think the wife should ride in a little cart behind the car like in the cartoons. Like behind Noah's ark there's a little boat with skunks
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So, wives are skunks?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh Jesus fuckin Christ, it's a fuckin joke, does it have to be fuckin cancer hospital in here?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: But Carmella is in control in the dream
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Why? Because she's driving?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Whatever is going on with the other two, you want to square it with Carmella?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Why?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: That's what we need to find out. Freud said dreams are wishes
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Dreams are wishes? I thought you said dreams represent "repressed urges"
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It depends
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You know I ought to quit this therapy. Maybe it's this, maybe it's that. What about impulse control? I've been sitting in this chair for four fuckin years and still nothing's been done about that, and it leads me to make mistakes in my work. What good did you do about that?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Let's get back to the dream
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh fuck the dream, it's just a dream. Jesus Christ the money I've been dropping in here I could've bought a Ferrari. At least I would've got a blow job out of that
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What'd you mean?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Please huh? Don't get me started
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I think your glossing over the significant accomplishments we've made in here
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [sarcastically, recalling her diagnosis] "oh my mother would cum if she looked at a pot roast", oh your second in the birthing order", oh Carmella's driving the car", "oh how fuckin interesting"
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: When you first came here you were clinically depressed. You suffered from panic attacks that put your life in danger. There's been significance relief in both those areas
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah but come on, I've coming here for four years now. I've been a good sport