- Feech La Manna: Know what the biggest change is for me? Broads shavin' their bushes. I went over to Silvio's, it's like the Girl Scouts in there.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [has invited Dr. Melfi to go to Bermuda with him] Come on, Doc. I'm breaking out the big guns here. You're turning me into half a stalker.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Listen, Anthony. I'm not going to go out with you, and it's not because you're unattractive or I don't think I would have a good time. It's just something I'm not going to do. I would like you to respect my decision, and just try to feel that I know what's right for me. Okay?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: It's not just the doctor-patient ethics thing, is it?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I want to preserve the option for you that you could always come back to our work, if you wish, and that we could pick up where we've left off.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [frustrated] I don't think you get this. I want you!
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: That's very flattering to me.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I'm not interested in flattering you.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I know you're not.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Alright, then what is it? Just help me understand it.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You know, Anthony, during our work I never judged you, or your behavior. It's not the place of a therapist to do so.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Alright, I get all this. Go, go.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: In a personal relationship, I don't think I could sit silent.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [amused] About what?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Our values are... just very different.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You don't like my values.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Honestly?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: No.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [admiring her bluntness] OK. Like what?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's getting late.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: No, no. Come on. It's okay.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well... you're not a truthful person. You're not respectful of women. You're not really respectful of people.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I don't love people?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Maybe you love them, I don't know. You take what you want from them by force, or the threat of force. I couldn't live like that. I couldn't bear witness to violence...
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: FUCK YOU!
- [storms out]
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You fucking cunt!
- Tony Soprano: [to Carmela regarding the bear] What, you trying to prove your independence? This ain't "Little House on the Fuckin' Prairie!" Those things are dangerous!
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: [while having lunch at a golf club] I'm thinking of going for the acupuncture
- Tony Soprano: Your shoulder again?
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: It's those long drives: it's already tender
- Tony Soprano: Next time we'll get you out there Angelo
- Angelo Garepe: After eighteen years in the can, I'm just happy to be outside
- Tony Soprano: What, they don't have any golf clubs at Leavenworth?
- Angelo Garepe: [to Johnny, referring to Tony] his still a smart ass, this one
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: Carmine, you alright? You barely touched your egg salad
- Carmine Lupertazzi: You smell that?
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: What?
- Carmine Lupertazzi: burning hair
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: I smell cut grass
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: [to Tony] any word on your cousin getting out?
- Angelo Garepe: [to Tony] Who's your cousin again?
- Tony Soprano: Tony Blundetto
- Angelo Garepe: oh, yeah, good guy, right, right. He was my best buddy inside
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: [to Tony] You gonna give him a party?
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, you know, get him laid
- Carmela Soprano: [referring to Sunday night dinner with Tony's side of the family] How was dinner?
- A.J. Soprano: [irritated when she's interrupting him playing the drums] Fine
- Carmela Soprano: What'd you have?
- A.J. Soprano: Roast beef
- Carmela Soprano: Didn't your father pick up his mail when he dropped you off?
- A.J. Soprano: No, he didn't come in: he said he was tired and just wanted to go to bed. Listen, I'm trying to practice
- Carmela Soprano: I see that you didn't bring in the power vacuum from the pool house like I asked
- A.J. Soprano: Why does that even need to be done? I mean grandpa's still gonna have to lift it into his truck
- Carmela Soprano: I don't want him to have to drag it from all the way out back
- Carmela Soprano: [when he doesn't respond, singing] It's so nice to have a man around the house
- A.J. Soprano: [whispers to himself, showing his disdain for his parents separating] You should've thought of that before...
- Carmela Soprano: [walks closer to him] What'd you say?
- Carmela Soprano: [sternly] Go out and get that vacuum, now
- Carmela Soprano: [raises her voice] What did I just say? Go
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Why did you have to underhanded? I don't find that appealing frankly
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I was going to ask you out for coffee or something but I didn't think you'd want to go. I'll pay for the hour, that goes without saying
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Forget that
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I was listening to that guy on TV: Dr. Phil and he was talking about a "similar situation" and he said if you could and if you wanted to there's no set rules, it's basically about malpractice, and you probably couldn't get sued
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: That's not the point
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I was thinking about all kinds of moves: buy her a piece of jewelry, pay the guy to close down the restaurant where she eats lunch, and hire a mandolin player. This is the place where we've been most honest with each other and that's the way I always liked it, so that being said, if you don't like me personally or the cut of my gib or my face or whatever then the matter will end here and I will never ask you out again. You can be honest
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I like you Anthony, and no you have a very nice face
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I'm working on the weight too by the way
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Stands up] good, explain to me ok? Why this is such a matter of such importance to you. There must be plenty of women out there
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Your different from what's out there, not to mention being drop dead beautiful
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: My training teaches me to go fairly quickly to the idea that you really want to come back to therapy
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Standing up, realizing she's right] Jesus Christ oh mighty will ya?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Your marriage of twenty something years has collapsed. No doubt there are issues with your children
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Why can't I do something that's just for me for a change?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It would be for you
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I want you. Not just for the smart things you say. I want your skin. I want your mouth. I want your eyes
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You project all these qualities onto me, you don't know me. This is what happens between a doctor and patient...
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [after he kisses her] don't do that
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Out of respect for this office. Forget about the way that Tony Soprano makes his way in the world, that's just to feed his children. There's two Tony Sopranos. You've never seen the other one. That's the one I want to show you
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'll tell ya, after a meal like that, what I could use is a nice piece of ass. Who knows? Maybe I'll call down and have them send one to the room?
- Christopher Moltisanti: [Angered from being forced into paying for an expensive dinner] why don't you just fuck yourself? Save a little money
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What's your problem?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Stop trying to bait me Paulie you know what my fuckin problem is
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: No, why don't you tell me?
- Christopher Moltisanti: You want me to tell you? Fine. Steaks, three pound lobsters, the shrimp fuckin cocktail you made everybody get, and then on top of everything else, you send those skanks a bottle of Cristal?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I was trying to be gentlemen, you ought to try it sometime
- Christopher Moltisanti: Not to mention the Lyonnaise fuckin potatoes you didn't even touch
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What? I lost my appetite
- Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck you!
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Excuse me?
- Christopher Moltisanti: You fuckin heard me
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm telling you I don't give a fuck anymore who you're related to
- Christopher Moltisanti: [Provoking Paulie into hitting him] go ahead, go for it. Your big fuckin moment
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: You little...
- Waiter: [Interrupting them] excuse me gentlemen, was there a problem with the service?
- Christopher Moltisanti: What're you talking about?
- Waiter: You left me a sixteen dollars sir, perhaps you miscounted?
- Christopher Moltisanti: There's twelve hundred bucks in there
- Waiter: That's correct. And the bill was eleven hundred and eighty-four dollars. Assuming you don't tip on tax or alcohol fifteen percent
- Christopher Moltisanti: I'm tapped out
- Waiter: You think this job is easy? I have kids
- Christopher Moltisanti: Then go back inside before you get hurt
- Waiter: I have a God damn family to support
- Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck off
- Waiter: [Before turning around and storming off] Right, go piss it away on Blackjack fucking assholes
- Officer Zmuida: [referring to the bear that wandered onto the Soprano property] this could be the same one from Willow Drive
- Carmela Soprano: God, the most densely populated state and still this
- Officer Yorn: his gone: he went through your neighbor's garbage though, the Callshanks
- Carmela Soprano: it's been going on all over. If my son had been alone...
- Officer Zmuida: you're not gonna want to put your trash cans out until as close to pick up time as possible
- Carmela Soprano: [to AJ] you hear that?
- Officer Zmuida: also, put Ammonia or bleach on the container and on the lid, I posted a notice to your neighbors
- Officer Yorn: if it had been a Category Two, injury or serious property damage, we could set traps but not for this
- A.J. Soprano: [to his mother] you should've "busted a cap in his ass" with dad's rifle
- Officer Zmuida: it's illegal to discharge firearms within the borough limits son
- A.J. Soprano: [to his mother] your gonna call dad, aren't you?
- Carmela Soprano: no
- Officer Zmuida: [before giving her their contact information] a great percentage of them don't come back. If he does, call us
- Officer Yorn: oh, is your bird feed back there?
- Carmela Soprano: yeah, duck food: my husband's
- Officer Yorn: it's probably what attracted the animal. See, the corn's become damp and aromatic: your gonna want to tell your husband to put it inside
- Carmela Soprano: right
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to the incident with Valery] so, we open the trunk, this suffocating Russian cocksucker pops up: his still alive
- Christopher Moltisanti: [after they all laugh] we lead him through the snow, this asshole's shivering. I mean his wearing fuckin pajamas and slippers in like eight-degree weather
- Christopher Moltisanti: [continuing the story and the sound of a gun, after Tony greets them and leaves] anyway, he starts running, the Russian. Boom! I'm telling you the top of his head came off like a fuckin bad rug
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: what a beating we had to give this prick
- Vito Spatafore: where's he now, do you think?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: who the fuck cares, right Chrissy?
- Christopher Moltisanti: who the fuck knows?
- Vito Spatafore: [referring to Valery] poor bastard
- Christopher Moltisanti: never would've happened if Paulie hadn't initially "overacted" but it's one for the books
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: what'd you mean "overreacted?"
- Christopher Moltisanti: you choked him with the guy's lamp, Paulie, we could've got Silvio's money without having to spend the night in the fuckin open
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [clarifying the details to everybody, referring to Christopher] he let him jab him with the shovel was the problem: he let his guard down
- Christopher Moltisanti: we would've caught up to the prick, if you didn't lose your fuckin shoe
- Vito Spatafore: Paulie, you lost your shoe? You didn't tell us about that
- Christopher Moltisanti: [impersonating Paulie pleading] "Chrissy please, don't leave me out here."
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: you little cocksucker
- Christopher Moltisanti: I covered your ass with Tony about that whole "thing" and never a word of fuckin thanks: ever!
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: who's playing the "blood relations" card? Tony's "little favorite"
- Christopher Moltisanti: fuck you!
- Feech La Manna: the reason I wanted to see you Junior, Tony too, now that I'm out, I'd like to get back in "the game"
- Junior Soprano: what'd you have in mind?
- Feech La Manna: you know me, I'm an "entrepreneur", get my shy going, sports book, whatever you say
- Tony Soprano: long as you don't step on anybody's toes
- Feech La Manna: me? I'm Fred Astaire
- Junior Soprano: [to Tony] what's this Feech tells me, you got a bear up there at the house?
- Tony Soprano: [looks at everybody] what's this now? CNN?
- Feech La Manna: no, it's just that your wife's up there, ex-wife, whatever: it's just that it's wild animals, their dangerous, people talk
- Tony Soprano: what "people"? Who?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I don't know
- Tony Soprano: what am I supposed to do? Go up there personally and set fuckin bear traps? We're separated for Christ's sake
- Manny Safier: [during their news broadcast] Inevitably, "what goes in must come out"
- Reporter: And these people now being released from prison are from the ones who were jailed in the big mafia crackdown from the 1980's?
- Manny Safier: It seems like yesterday, doesn't it? For years, we've heard how law enforcement broke the "back" of the mob. Well, they've served their time, it's the old never-ending battle against crime and corruption to quote Superman
- Reporter: So, what'd you think is going to happen with this "infusion" of "new blood"?
- Manny Safier: We could be looking at a period of "potentially" violent power struggle
- Reporter: Any familiar names?
- Manny Safier: In New York, the only "old style" boss still in place is Carmine Lupertazzi, he'll soon by rejoined by Angelo Garepe his former Consigliere, also Philip Leotardo: long time Lupertazzi captain. New Jersey's a better case in point: you've got Michele "Feech" La Manna released just this week, a man greatly feared and respected in the 70's. Similar situation with Anthony Blundetto in the same crime family: the Sopranos, twenty-eight years old when he went away, a rising star, thought to be the central suspect in the car bomb killing of Thomas Jilardi and his driver
- Reporter: So, would you say that this is an "interesting point" in the history of the mafia?
- Manny Safier: I'd say we're looking at a great year for crime reporting
- Tony Soprano: [referring to the bear coming onto their property] Why didn't you tell me this when it first happened?
- Carmela Soprano: I called the cops: they called Fish and Game
- Tony Soprano: What're you trying to prove your independent? This isn't Little House on the Prairie, those things are dangerous
- Carmela Soprano: the "ranger", or whatever said it was your duck food that attracted it
- Tony Soprano: I never heard of it happening before
- Carmela Soprano: [jokingly] "Trapper Joe" over here
- Tony Soprano: [referring to Carmine's Sr. suffering a stroke, while in the waiting room in the hospital] Sad this shit, huh?
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: [referring to their plan to kill Carmine Sr] You know, I haven't forgotten our "arrangement" last year, you leaving me in a lurch, like that
- Tony Soprano: It wasn't the right thing to do? Taking out a boss? Come on
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: Even still
- Tony Soprano: What'd you want? An apology? Fuckin Whitman's sampler? What?
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: [referring to Carmine's Sr] Imagine if his fuckin speech is affected? Poor bastard
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [referring to Tony wanting to date her] I know him: he'll keep coming back and coming back. How to let him down easy I don't...
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: [interrupts her] You think it's worth telling the police?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [scoffs] What? Jesus
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: I don't want to paint somber tones here but the man's a sociopath, unpracticed in not getting what he wants and now since the therapy is kaput, what use are there to him except sex?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [sarcastically] Thank you, your debited feeling is really quite extraordinary here
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: [leans forward] All you could come up with was this weak boost about this professional ethics because you are worried about how this thug will handle rejection
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [as Elliot leans back] You know at first, I did find him a little sexy, a dangerous, alpha male but as each year followed, the ugliness I saw, I heard
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: [nods] You kept him a long time
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: There's a mutual sympathy of some kind, I guess?
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: Maybe it's the Italian thing?
- Adriana La Cerva: So, where's the dinner at?
- Christopher Moltisanti: I forget the name, it's in the car
- Adriana La Cerva: Who's gonna be there?
- Christopher Moltisanti: What're you on the school paper? Guys: business. Got any cash?
- Adriana La Cerva: Some, hand me my bag
- Christopher Moltisanti: [while looking through her wallet] That's all you got?
- Adriana La Cerva: There's like four hundred dollars
- Christopher Moltisanti: I'm "low man" tonight, I gotta pay for everybody
- Adriana La Cerva: [irritated] This is fuckin ridiculous, why should you get stuck all the time? You should make Paulie pay
- Christopher Moltisanti: What, I make the rules now? The guy's a captain
- Adriana La Cerva: I know but when he was in jail, all I'm saying is if you get the extra responsibilities, you should get the " benefits" too
- Christopher Moltisanti: Your right. I'll say "hello" to the guys for you
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [over the phone] get some sleep?
- Christopher Moltisanti: a little, you know
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to them assaulting and then killing a waiter after giving a small tip for an expensive bill] fucked up huh?
- Christopher Moltisanti: what're you gonna do?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm not too worried about the cops: nobody knows us down there. The reason I called, let's "bury the hatchet", you and me, all this bullshit with us
- Christopher Moltisanti: I know, it's stupid
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: life's too short: you can't waste it fighting with your friends. Look at what could've happened last night, one of us could've got hurt, even killed for Christ's sake
- Christopher Moltisanti: I know
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: your "special" to me, you know, always have been
- Christopher Moltisanti: you too
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: we'll split the tab
- Christopher Moltisanti: I'm sorry
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I apologize too kid. I'll talk to you later