South Park (TV Series)

Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut (1998)

Isaac Hayes: Chef

Quotes 

• [Liane Cartman looks at a bunch of manly football players] 

  Liane Cartman : [orgasmic]  Oh, Chef! Oh, CHEF!

  Chef : Damn, woman, what's gotten into you?

  Liane Cartman : WHOOPEE!

• Chef : [singing]  When a man loves a woman, and a woman loves a man... well, actually, sometimes the man doesn't really LOVE the woman, but he acts like he does because he want to get a little action, heh-heh. The magic starts to happen, and the two take off their clothes / they caress and hug each other until the part of the man grows / They're rolling around and things are really starting to get hot! And the man says, 'I love you' and the woman says, "Hang on a minute, I gotta go to the bathroom." So you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait... and you wait and you wait and you wait. You wait and you're coolin' down and she's still goin' to the bathroom! Finally, she comes back and she says, 'Ooh, Baby, I'm gettin' hot!' And that's when you've got to jab her foot and pump up full of...

  Eric Cartman : WAIT! So who the hell did THAT to my mother?

• Chef : Garrison, what the hell are you doing?

  Mr Garrison : You're drunk, Mr Hat!

• [Cartman goes over to Chef's house, thinking he is part black and acting like such] 

  Chef : Boy, what the fudge are you doing?

  Eric Cartman : You know just layin' down some rhymes, with the G-folk, know what I'm sayin...

  Chef : Get in here!

  [pulls Cartman in] 

  Eric Cartman : West Siiide...

• [Liane Cartman and Mr Garrison look at each other lovingly] 

  Chef : Awww, I'm out of here!

  Liane Cartman : Oh, come on Chef, haven't you heard of a manage-o-three?

  Chef : Sure, when I'm with two other WOMEN!