- [the South Park team is bombarded with Chinese dodgeballs]
- Stan Marsh: Oh my god, they killed Kenny!
- Kyle Broflovski: [flatly, because he's doubled up in agony on the ground] You bastards.
- [last lines]
- Eric Cartman: I love you guys...
- [Everyone looks at him]
- Eric Cartman: Ah, screw you guys!
- [Stan thinks there's a foetus in his head]
- Stan Marsh: [brandishing a crowbar] NOOOO, I HAVE TO GET IT OUT!
- [gets restrained by his father]
- Chinese broadcaster: They won't have any trouble seeing the ball, with their BIG American eyes.
- [after the South Park dodgeball team wins]
- Chef: Hey, I'm real sorry we WHOOPED YOUR ASSES!
- [starts dancing and singing]
- Stan Marsh: Hey, that nurse is pretty cool!
- Kyle Broflovski: Yeah, I wonder if that dead foetus's making her smarter!
- Chef: How long until we get to Washington?
- Mrs Crabtree: Sit down kid!
- Chef: I just want to know how far it is to Washington?
- Mrs Crabtree: I SAID SIT DOWN KID!
- Chef: I just want to know how far it is to Washington you fat hog.
- Mrs Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
- Chef: I said I wish I could go to Prague.
- Mrs Crabtree: So do I.
- Sharon Marsh: Hello? Sheila? This is Sharon Marsh, Stan's mother.
- Sheila Broflovsky: Yes Mrs. Marsh what can I do for you?
- Sharon Marsh: My son tells me that you've been telling my son about the school nurse's condition.
- Sheila Broflovsky: Yes. She has a dead fetus hanging from the side of her head.
- Sharon Marsh: Yes well, the next time you want to scare the hell out of my son warn me first.