South Park (TV Series)
Good Times with Weapons (2004)
Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Roger, Jimmy Valmer, Clyde, Dr. Doctor, Narrator, Jeffrey, Auctioner, Randy Marsh, Man in Crowd #2, Skeeter, Mr. Garrison
Quotes
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Cartman : Okay. Go ahead, Kyle. Throw your nunchucks away. If you can. But you know damn well that your Jewish blood won't let you. You can't throw away something you paid fifteen bucks for. Go ahead and try. Mel Gibson was right, Kyle. Right now the Jew in you is screaming 'No! Those cost money! Get your money back!' You know this to be true. Go ahead. Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle. Do it.
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[the townsfolk consult with Mayor McDaniels about the incident at the auction]
Man #1 : Well, like the rest of you, I am shocked and appalled at what happened! I don't know if the parents are to blame or if it's the times we're living in, but something has to change!
Townsfolk : [amid chatter] Yeah! I agree!
Gerald Brofloski : This is the worst thing that's happened in this town! The worst thing!
Man #2 : Yeah! I mean, there were children watching that auction! And when that little eight-year-old-boy walked up and flashed his... penis... it was an outrage!
[the adults go into an uproar again]
Stan : What?
Cartman : What?
Skeeter : Not only that, the auction was televised on public access, so my little daughter watchin' at home saw the... penis! How am I supposed to explain that to her?
Sheila Broflovski : This is what happens when the moral fabric of society breaks down!
[the adults go into an uproar again]
Mr. Garrison : [shouts] You see the damage you've caused, Eric Cartman? What were you thinking?
Cartman : I told you it was a wardrobe malfunction!
[the adults go into an uproar again]
Kyle : Dude, they don't care we knocked Butters' eye out with weapons?
Stan : Just run with it, dude.
Kyle : [looks around, then stands on his chair] Uh, yeah! I agree! Uh, my fragile little eight-year-old mind didn't know how to deal with what I was seeing. Cartman should be punished!
[the adults agree, then go into an uproar again]
Cartman : Hey, fuck you, Kyle!
