South Park (TV Series)

Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants (2001)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Officer Barbrady, Ms. Choksondik, News Reader, Randy Marsh, Bomb Disposal #2, Mr. Tweek, Goat, Government Agent, Postman, General, Tony, Josh D. Gray, Soldier #3, Soldier #4, Pilot, Vulture, Osama Bin Laden, Afghan Stan, Afghan Cartman

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [the boys are standing at the bus stop, wearing gas masks] 

  Kyle Broflovski : Remember when life used to be simple and cool?

  Eric Cartman : [after a pause]  Not really.

• [about Osama bin Laden] 

  Eric Cartman : Ooh, tastes like chicken... the ass of a chicken.

• Eric Cartman : [talking to Bin Laden]  Aw, Dude, it's called deodorant, okay? It's not expensive.

• Kyle Broflovski : [the boys are confronted by Afghan soldiers]  Uh... greetings, from, Canada. Well, Boys, it's "aboot" time we get back to our "hoose" in Canada, isn't it?

  Eric Cartman : Hey, what the hell are you talking about? I'm not a goddam Canadian and neither are you!

  Stan Marsh : Cartman, you stupid asshole.

• Kyle Broflovski : [Cartman starts to follow Bin Laden]  Cartman where are you going?

  Eric Cartman : I'm gonna go take care of this prick!

  Kyle Broflovski : Cartman he's crazy!

  Eric Cartman : He's not crazy he's an idiot, I know how to deal with these people

• Osama Bin Laden : [Talking on the phone after his base has been invaded by Americans]  A flippity flappity floop! Jihad jihad!

  Eric Cartman : [Imitating Bugs Bunny while chewing on a donut]  Meh, What's up Bin Laden?

  Osama Bin Laden : [In surprise]  Arrrrrrrrrrrubadubaduba! Durka durka haq!

  Eric Cartman : [Looks at his watch]  Uh oh 5:30 time to pray!

  [bowing on a rug] 

  Eric Cartman : Allah, Allah, m'heh.

  Osama Bin Laden : Taba haqa?

  [Takes out his own rug and starts praying] 

  Osama Bin Laden : Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah hakadurrpa durpa adurpa hagalah.

  Eric Cartman : [Takes out a mallet and hits him over the head, Bin Laden then gets up and points a gun at him]  Uh oh!

  [kisses him and runs away] 

• Eric Cartman : [while disguised as an Arab woman and sitting on a camel]  Yoohoo!

  [Bin Laden turns in his direction and his eyeballs pop out of their sockets and his tongue rolls to the ground] 

  Eric Cartman : Haduqaduqaduqa

  [Bin Laden pulls his tongue back in like window blinds] 

  Eric Cartman : Huqadukadukadukadoo

  [Bin Laden whistles then howls like a wolf] 

  Eric Cartman : [Bin Laden seemingly lunges for Cartman but grabs the camel instead whom he kisses repeatedly] 

  Osama Bin Laden : [Proposing to the camel]  Oh bella, bella falafel

  [Gives the camel some flowers] 

  Osama Bin Laden : Mi amore, fatwa, fatwa

  [He then picks up the camel seats it at a table and serves it some wine] 

  Osama Bin Laden : Ahh, de vino! Mi fatwa! J'ai une fatwa!

  [Cartman holds up signs of a screw and a baseball, a jack and a donkey, a pile of feces pointing at someone's head, a rooster and a lollipop, and Barbra Streisand] 

• Osama Bin Laden : [Bin Laden follows Cartman who's hiding under a bush which he takes off and points his gun at him]  Ramadan!

  Eric Cartman : Hey look an infidel!

  Osama Bin Laden : What, Peitoqaba?

  [Cartman pulls down his pants and several magnifying glasses are placed over his genitalia revealing a very tiny penis] 

  Eric Cartman : [holds up a sign that says "tiny ain't it?"]  So that's what this is all about?

  Osama Bin Laden : [embarrassingly pulls up his pants then points his gun at Cartman]  Ishta fatwa open sesame!

  Eric Cartman : [climbs into Bin Laden's arms and kisses him]  Mmm tastes like chicken, the ass of a chicken!

  Osama Bin Laden : [angry]  Proila foqabam!

  Eric Cartman : Woohoo!

  [zips away leaving a cloud of dust and Bin Laden chases after him] 

• Eric Cartman : We're not the ones bombing them now. We're just kids. There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in the world, but we're just caught in the middle. It's not our fault.

  Wendy Testaburger : The Afghan kids are caught in the middle, too!

  Eric Cartman : Yes, but they're sand monkeys!

• Eric Cartman : I'm not giving a dollar to those towel-heads!