- Paris Hilton: Oh, I want to take Mr. Biggles with me.
- Mrs. Stotch: With you where?
- Paris Hilton: To live with me forever and ever you dumb broad! How much?
- Mrs. Stotch: How much? For Butters?
- Mr. Stoch: Butters is our son. He's not for sale.
- Paris Hilton: I'll give you 200 million dollars for it.
- Mr. Stoch: [spits out his coffee] Excuse me?
- Paris Hilton: I SAID I'll give you 200 million dollars for it!
- [Mr. and Mrs. Stotch both spit out their coffee in shock]
- Red haired girl: You don't want to go to this party Wendy. We're inviting all the boys and we're going to play spin the bottle, and two minutes in the closet, and do ketamine!
- Wendy Testaburger: That's okay.
- Blonde girl: Oh, please! Do you even know what ketamine is?
- Wendy Testaburger: Yes.
- Blonde girl: See, you are too smart!
- Red haired girl: Yeah, we have no idea what ketamine is!
- Bebe Stevens: Paris Hilton is making an appearance at the mall!
- Wendy Testaburger: Who's Paris Hilton?
- Red haired girl: "Who's Paris Hilton?"
- Blonde girl: You don't know?
- Announcer: Hello everyone. The Guess clothing company is pleased to have as its new spokesperson and model, a woman all you young ones can look up to. Miss Paris Hilton!
- [Paris appears on stage, coughs, poses for the cameras. Audience cheers]
- Bebe Stevens: Wow, that's really her! Paris, over here!
- Wendy Testaburger: I don't get it, what does she do?
- Blonde girl: She's super rich!
- Wendy Testaburger: But what does she do?
- Red haired girl: She's totally spoiled and snobby!
- Wendy Testaburger: What does she do?
- Man in audience: She's a whore!
- [snaps a photo]
- Paris Hilton: Hey everyone! Sorry if I'm a little spent. I did a whole lot of partying last night with a lot of different guys.
- [coughs into her hand]
- Paris Hilton: Anyway, I'm pleased to be here in Douth Dark to announce the opening of my brand new store! A store where girls can buy everything they need to be just like me! Stupid Spoiled Whore!
- [curtain drops to reveal the store. Crowd cheers]