- Kathie Lee Gifford comes to South Park to present an award to Cartman, and Mr. Garrison hopes to use the event to assassinate her.
- Cartman wins an environmentalism essay contest, and the prize is going to be awarded by none other than Kathy Lee Gifford. While most of the town is overjoyed, Mr. Garrison is still haunted by the memory of losing a child talent contest to Kathy, and vows to get revenge. Meanwhile, Wendy, angry over losing the essay contest and suspecting Cartman of cheating, starts doing some plotting of her own.—Jean-Marc Rocher <rocher@fiberbit.net>
- Cartman wins an essay contest, and has an opportunity to be on television. Wanting to look his best, he goes on a diet that actually leads to him gaining weight. Meanwhile, Kathie Lee Gifford comes to town and Mr. Garrison plots revenge on her.—Anonymous
- Mr Garrison announces to his class that Cartman's essay regarding the environment has won a special contest, and Kathie Lee Gifford will be coming to South Park to present Eric with an awards.
Most of the class is at a loss as to how Cartman could have won, but the Mayor is excited that Kathie Lee is coming to South Park, and feels that her handling of this celebrity's appearance can lead her to bigger and better things.
Meanwhile, Mr Garrison struggles with his inner feelings regarding Kathie Lee Gifford, who upstaged him at a school talent show when he was little, by doing a presentation using two dummies instead of one. Eventually, Mr Hat convinces Mr Garrison to kill her.
Noting Cartman's 'body size,' the Mayor recommends he get in shape. However, Cartman assumes he isn't bulked up enough, and begins to take a concoction called 'Weight Gain 4000.'
Finally, the day arrives for Kathie Lee to arrive in town. Mr Garrison goes to the book depository building to shoot her, but Stan and Wendy find him there, and stop him from killing her...only to have his bullet end up killing Kenny instead. Kathie Lee Gifford quickly leaves the town, and Wendy exposes Cartman's essay as being nothing more than the book 'Walden,' with the author's name scribbled out. However, the media don't care as Kathie Lee Gifford has left.
In the aftermath, Cartman does get to be on TV, appearing on Geraldo after growing so big that he can't get out of his room after consuming more of the Weight Gain 4000.
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