SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

Shanghaied/Gary Takes a Bath (2001)

Tom Kenny: SpongeBob, Patchy the Pirate, Narrator, Gary

Photos 

Quotes 

• [a giant anchor crashes into SpongeBob's pineapple] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Holy shrimp!

  [runs to Squidward's house] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! Squiid-waard!

  [Squidward pops his head out of one of his windows in annoyance] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Squidward! The sky had a baby!

  Squidward Tentacles : That's not a baby! That's a giant anchor! Now, go away!

  Patrick : [walks up to SpongeBob]  Hey, SpongeBob! The sky had a baby!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I know. What do you think we should we name it?

• Squidward Tentacles : [about to climb the anchor rope]  Well, I am gonna get to the bottom of this thing.

  SpongeBob : Wouldn't that be the top?

• SpongeBob : [on the phone]  Hello. Fancy french restaurant? I've got a naughty snail here who won't take a bath.

• SpongeBob : [disguising the bathtub as a treasure chest]  Wow, Gary, look! A pirate treasure chest!

  Gary : Meow.

  SpongeBob : Why, no, Gary, this isn't the bathtub...

  [kicks a paint bucket away] 

  SpongeBob : It's treasure!

  [pulls out two bars of soap] 

  SpongeBob : Look, doubloons. Don't drop 'em.

  [winks, then pulls out a rubber duck] 

  SpongeBob : Look at this brooch.

  Gary : Meow.

  SpongeBob : I don't know what a snail would want with a brooch! Now why don't you just get in the tub!

• SpongeBob : [Gary duped SpongeBob up in a tree and swiped his ladder]  Gary! Bring that ladder back this instant!

  [the ladder falls] 

  SpongeBob : I am really not amused, mister! You are going to take a bath, and you are going to get clean right now!

  Gary : Meow.

  SpongeBob : I am *so* the boss of you!

  Gary : Meow.

  SpongeBob : It may be a free country, but you live in my house under my rules!

  Gary : Meow.

  SpongeBob : Don't use that tone of voice with me. You will do what I say, when I say!

  [Gary slithers closer to the mud puddle] 

  SpongeBob : What are you doing? I am talking to you, mister! Do not go near that mud puddle! Gary the snail, do you hear me? I am giving you three seconds to get away from that mud puddle! One...

  [Gary inches closer] 

  SpongeBob : Two...

  [Gary inches closer] 

  SpongeBob : Two and a half... Don't make me say three!

  [Gary leans over the puddle] 

  SpongeBob : Gary! Gary! Gary!

  [falls off the tree] 

  SpongeBob : GARY!

  [splats in the mud] 

  SpongeBob : I'm a dirty boy.

• [the trio climb onboard a ghostly pirate ship] 

  Squidward Tentacles : Alright, who owns this crate?

  [knocks on the cabin door] 

  Squidward Tentacles : Come on out! I wanna file a complaint!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [looks around]  Doesn't this place seem familiar?

  Patrick : I don't know. Why?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I don't know, doesn't it just kinda ring a bell?

  [Squidward repeatedly rings the doorbell by the cabin door] 

  Patrick : Yes!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I know who owns this boat, but I just can't place the name.

  [He passes by a barrel labelled "property of the Flying Dutchman". Squidward angrily pounds on the cabin door until the Flying Dutchman suddenly bursts out] 

  Flying Dutchman : [roaring]  Aaargh-oowh-waagh!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : No, no, it's not

  [imitating him] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : "Aaargh-oowh-waagh!"

  Flying Dutchman : I am the Flying Dutchman!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : That's it! Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!

• Flying Dutchman : Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman in his own lair?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [cheerfully]  It's Squidward, he wants to complain to you.

  [the Flying Dutchman looks at Squidward] 

  Squidward Tentacles : [nervously]  I... no I don't

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?

  [Flying Dutchman glares angrily at Squidward] 

  Squidward Tentacles : [laughs nervously]  I never said that

  Flying Dutchman : Insulting a man's ship be worse than insulting his mother!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : No, no wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship!

  [the Flying Dutchman fries Squidward with fire from his nose] 

• SpongeBob SquarePants : [screaming]  Gary, there's a bomb strapped to my chest! It's gonna explode in three seconds unless you take a bath!

  [pause] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Pleeease.

  [explodes] 

• Flying Dutchman : [trying to scare a kid fish]  Booooo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates!

  SpongeBob : [pans to a kelp shrub, then SpongeBob peaks out]  Was that the signal? Sorry, sorry, just do it again.

  Flying Dutchman : ...with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates!

  [SpongeBob and Patrick come out of the shrub making ghoulish noises and SpongeBob does a hand trick] 

  Patrick Star : [in a ghoulish voice]  How does he do thaaaat?

  [SpongeBob and Patrick continue ghoulish noises] 

  Flying Dutchman : Get back on the ship.

  SpongeBob , Patrick Star : [in a ghoulish voice and backing away]  It's still a mystery.

  Kid Fish : Those guys are dorks.

  Flying Dutchman : Yes, but they're my dorks.

• SpongeBob : Why do you think the Dutchman asked us to wait in our bunk room?

  Patrick Star : Maybe he's gonna give us a reward.

  SpongeBob : Like movie passes?

  Patrick Star : Or an over-sized coffee mug!

  [giggling excitedly while shaking the bunk bed] 

• Flying Dutchman : We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree. So I want this ship to look good and scary.

  SpongeBob : You mean you want it to look good... and scary. Well, I think we could probably...

  Patrick Star : No, no. I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.

  SpongeBob : Or maybe that by looking so scary you forget that it doesn't look good.

  Patrick Star : [after a pause]  I don't get it.

  SpongeBob : Look, it's easy, it simple means that...

  Flying Dutchman : Never mind what it means! I just want it to look scary! That's it! You know, mold on the ceilings and bugs in the sink.

  SpongeBob : So you don't want it to look good?

  Flying Dutchman : GET MOVING!

  SpongeBob , Patrick Star : [singing rapidly]  A sailor's life is a wonderful life, a wonderful life for sure!

• SpongeBob : Psst, Gary.

  [SpongeBob enters the living room and has absorbed all the bath water into his body] 

  SpongeBob : Bath delivery!

  [he spits the water towards Gary and hits the armchair instead as Gary runs away] 

  SpongeBob : Come back, Gary. I have something to *chair* with you.

  [he spits the water again but hits a stack of dirty dishes, inadvertently cleaning them] 

  SpongeBob : *Dish* is more like it.

  [he continues spitting the water towards Gary but keeps missing as he keeps running away] 

  SpongeBob : *Water* you waiting for, Gary!