- Maddie: Look, this jerk over there keeps hitting on me, so pretend to be my boyfriend. Okay, sweetie?
- Jake Donovan: Sure. Why don't you go make me a sandwich? And give me some money.
- Maddie: I said boyfriend, not husband!
- Henry McNeeley: You know, I heard from an official police source you should always give a mugger what he wants.
- Ian Stark: Who said that?
- Henry McNeeley: McGruff, the talking crime dog.