- Luigi: [inside a dark Warp Pipe] Ow! Someone's standin' on my toe, and it's not me.
- Princess Toadstool: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay, Luigi?
- Luigi: Just as soon as I find me, I'll letcha know.
- [the Mario Bros. are digging their way out of a mine]
- Princess Toadstool: Uh, Mario? Where exactly are we headed?
- Mario: Don't worry, Princess. I've got an instinct about these things. We're headed right for...
- [the Mario Bros. dig out of the ground and look around]
- Mario: A town?
- Calamity Clam: Why, I'm Calamity Clam. Sheriff of Lonesome Mushroom. Heh heh! Best little ghost town in the west.
- Toad: Well, does this little ghost town have an assay office?
- Calamity Clam: Right over yonder, stranger.
- [Mario and company enter the assay office and Toad places his gold coins on the table]
- Toad: Yo! Hey! Hello! Yoo-hoo! I need some assay work done here!
- [Calamity Clam appears]
- Calamity Clam: One assay job coming right up.
- Luigi: Hey, I thought you were the sheriff.
- Calamity Clam: [puts on different hats] And fire chief, and town cook. Heh heh! I also own the hat store. Heh heh heh!
- Toad: Well, could you put on your assayer's hat and tell me if this is real?
- King Koopa: Well, whaddaya know? There's gold in Lonesome Mushroom. And where there's gold, there's Klaimjump Koopa!
- Calamity Clam: I don't believe what I'm seeing. Lonesome Mushroom's done become a boomtown. Heh! I'm so busy being sheriff, I don't have time to wear my other hats.
- Toad: I'm sorry, Clam. This is all my fault.
- Calamity Clam: Well, it could be worse, little pard! Klaimjump Koopa could be here.
- [Koopa appears and lassoes Toad]
- Toad: Hey!
- King Koopa: Klaimjump Koopa IS here!
- Princess Toadstool: You sure this is the way to the Fire Flower mine?
- Calamity Clam: Sure is. But first, we gotta go through a tomato sauce mine.
- Mario: [dips his finger in the sauce and tastes it] Mmm! There's never a noodle around when you need one.
- Calamity Clam: Funny you should mention that, pard. Got a vein of prime pasta noodles right here. Heh heh heh!
- Mario: Mama mia! Pastariffic!
- [Princess Toadstool pulls Mario away]
- Princess Toadstool: No time for eating, Mario. Here's all the Fire Flowers you'll ever need.
- [the group finds the Fire Flower mine]
- Mario: Couldn't we just take a little pasta break?
- Princess Toadstool: Please, Mario. Get super now, eat later.