Tales from the Crypt (TV Series)

You, Murderer (1995)

John Kassir: Crypt Keeper

Quotes 

• Crypt Keeper : Hello... how are you? I'm Fearest Gump. Hi, care for a shockolate?

  [shows a man that looks like Alfred Hitchcock near him] 

  Crypt Keeper : You sure? My mummy always said: life is like a box of shockolates, you never know what you gonna get... Some times you get a fudgescream, sometimes you get nuguts...

  [two people walk by the Crypt Keeper] 

  Crypt Keeper : Know what else mummy said? She said: scary is as scary does. Which brings to mind the man in tonight's terror tale. He's just dying to get out of the mess he's in... literally! It's a little piece of horrid candy I call: You, murderer.

• Crypt Keeper : You know, I kind of feel sorry for Lou. Surely, there's got to be an easier way to get an Oscar. I hope my story didn't scare you too much Mr. Hitchcock. Actually, I'm a very big fan of yours. If you want, you can tell me a story.

  [pans over to see Mr. Hitchcock's skeleton being pecked by crows and then pans back to the Crypt Keeper] 

  Crypt Keeper : Hmm, I guess he knows the pecking order now.