- Louie De Palma: Iggy said I'd feel great. I said I wouldn't feel anything. I never imagined that I would feel like a sack of dirt!
- Latka Gravas: The tradition of my country forces me to protest.
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Come on, take the money.
- Latka Gravas: Oh I'll take the money, but first I have to protest. No! No! No! I won't take it. This is an insult!
- [takes the money]
- Latka Gravas: Thank you very much.
- Alex Reiger: Jim, you give a thousand bucks to Louie De Palma, you better be there to see that he gives it to somebody. Otherwise, he's going to pocket that money himself and lie about it.
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Will you do that?
- Louie De Palma: Of course.
- Latka Gravas: Simka and I would like to give you one thousand dollars.
- Reverend Gorky: Thousand dollars? You are giving me thousand dollars? Stinking lousy thousand dollars? How dare you! I spit on your money. Ptui Ptui.
- [takes the money]
- Reverend Gorky: Thank you very much.
- Jeff Bennett: I don't want your money, Louie.
- Louie De Palma: What's the matter with my money?
- Jeff Bennett: It could be dirty money.
- Louie De Palma: I'm not asking you to eat off it.
- Jeff Bennett: Louie, I don't know why you want me to take that money. All I know is if it's coming from Louie De Palma, there's gotta be a catch.
- Louie De Palma: What kind of catch?
- Jeff Bennett: How would I know? Maybe it's counterfeit money. Maybe it's stolen money and you want to plant it on me. Maybe it's contaminated from germ warfare and the Russians paid you to plant it on my body as an experiment to see I sprout some kind of weird fungus.
- Louie De Palma: [after a 10 second pause] It's beginning to sound like you don't trust me.