- Reginald "Red" Forman: Shoes are an inappropriate gift to give another man.
- Kitty Forman: Well, what about when you joined the service? Another man issued you your boots.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: But then he gave me a gun, so I let it go.
- Kitty Forman: Well, why don't you just accept the shoes because Bob is your friend?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: You don't understand how men work. We don't give each other presents. We pretty much ignore each other until someone scores a touchdown.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: I do too have friends - I have lots of friends!
- Kitty Forman: Name one.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Charlie, from Korea - he's a friend!
- Kitty Forman: When's the last time you were in touch with him?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: On the boat over from Korea... We said everything we had to say!
- Bob Pinciotti: [Bob gives Red a gift] You're welcome, big guy.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: What's this for?
- Bob Pinciotti: No reason. I have been thinking about you and how much we have been through a lot.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: No, we haven't.
- [Opens the box and finds new shoes]
- Kitty Forman: Oh, he gave you shoes. What do you say, Red?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [to Bob] What the hell's wrong with you?
- Kitty Forman: Or we say, "Thank you, very much.".
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [to Bob] Don't you think it's a little odd for a man to be giving another man a pair of shoes?
- Bob Pinciotti: I saw them. I thought they would go nice with your tan pants.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Quit thinking about my pants. My legs and what covers them is my business.
- Kitty Forman: He's very sensitive about his legs, which he shouldn't be - they're like a lady dancer's!... Oh, maybe that's why he's so sensitive...
- Reginald "Red" Forman: It doesn't matter, because I'm keeping the shoes! They feel great - like I'm walking on a mound of baby ducks...!