- Kitty Forman: Bob and Midge want to take us out to dinner tonight.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Bob and Midge? Kitty, it's my birthday!
- Kitty Forman: I know, but they like you and they want you to have fun on your birthday, like I do.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: If they really liked me, they'd leave me alone.
- [to Bob and Midge]
- Reginald "Red" Forman: So, you two are going to save your marriage by dating strangers. Great.
- Midge Pinciotti: When you say it like that, Red, it sounds stupid.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Okay, Midge, say it so it *doesn't* sound stupid.
- Midge Pinciotti: [Striding angrily to the refrigerator and writing on the dryboard] Bob is an ASS!
- Donna Pinciotti: Mom, I have company!
- Midge Pinciotti: Oh, sorry, Steven, I didn't see you. Isn't Bob an ASS?
- Bob Pinciotti: Oh, YEAH?
- [Scribbles furiously on the dryboard; then, to Donna]
- Bob Pinciotti: You can't look at this, honey.
- [to Hyde]
- Bob Pinciotti: You can, 'cause you'll appreciate this!
- Reginald "Red" Forman: I'm sorry, I've lost my appetite!
- [Looks down at his plate]
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Oh, my, that's a nice-looking piece of steak.
- Fez: Aiyy, ENOUGH! Kelso, if you want to win a woman, this is what you must do.
- [Takes Jackie's hand]
- Fez: I, as a mortal, am not worthy of your love, and I spend every moment worshipping you...
- Michael Kelso: [Grabs Jackie's hand away] What he said.
- Jackie Burkhart: Oh, Michael!
- [Begins kissing him passionately, to Fez's dismay]