That '70s Show (TV Series)

The Acid Queen (2003)

Ashton Kutcher: Michael Kelso

Quotes 

• [after Kelso tries in vain to convince the others he had sex with Brooke, she comes to the basement] 

  Brooke : Kelso, we have to talk about doing it at the Molly Hatchet concert.

  Michael Kelso : Just a second, Brooke.

  [to Fez] 

  Michael Kelso : Burn!

  [to Eric and Donna] 

  Michael Kelso : Burn!

  [to Hyde] 

  Michael Kelso : Burn!

  [to Jackie] 

  Michael Kelso : Burn!

  [Kelso runs upstairs to the kitchen] 

  Michael Kelso : [to Kitty]  Burn!

  [to Red] 

  Michael Kelso : Burn!

  [Kelso runs back downstairs] 

  Michael Kelso : So, Brooke. What did you want to talk about?

  Brooke : I just found out I'm pregnant.

  Michael Kelso : [defensively]  I never touched her!

• Brooke : I don't make it with guys at concerts! I read two periodicals a week about the Dewey Decimal System, which I'm sure you've never heard of!

  Michael Kelso : I've heard of Dewey Decimal! It's Donald Duck's nephew!

• Kid : I'm *trying* to *read*!

  Michael Kelso : Don't be a sissy! Here, here's a firecracker. Go live a little.