The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (TV Series)

Don Rickles/Ray Bradbury/Cheryl Ladd (1978)

Johnny Carson: Self - Host

Photos 

Quotes 

• Johnny Carson : [describing a potential soap opera]  Delores accepts a collect call from an obscene caller, and tells him from now on to phone after 6 and on weekends when the rates go down.

• Johnny Carson : [describing a potential soap opera]  Susan is concerned when her 13-year-old daughter is voted Miss Congeniality by a truck drivers' union out of Encino.

• Johnny Carson : [describing a potential soap opera]  Eyebrows are raised when Ken checks into a local motel with no luggage and a 20-pound watermelon.

• Johnny Carson : [describing a potential soap opera]  Sarah desperately needs money, and offers herself to an old roué for one thousand dollars; she settles for twenty.

• Johnny Carson : [describing a potential soap opera]  In the opening episode, several years ago Dr. Yutzman delivered a set of Siamese triplets, and now he faces the delicate task of telling Manny, Moe and Jack that one of them is adopted.

• Cheryl Ladd : [on her diverse fan mail]  I got a letter the other day, from a man 52 years old.

  Johnny Carson : Oh!

  Cheryl Ladd : Married. Um...

  Johnny Carson : That's... I'm - I'm 52.

  Cheryl Ladd : Are you?

  Johnny Carson : Yes. And married... So embarrassing, you bringing up my letter, but...

• Johnny Carson : [to Cheryl Ladd]  When you said, "I got this letter the other day from a 52-year-old man"... I got the feeling that you thought he was just this side of going to the Motion Picture Country Home.

• Johnny Carson : [on Rickles marrying at an older age]  You waited 'til you were 37 or...

  Don Rickles : Of course. Go through what you did?... "Your honor..."

• Don Rickles : You make a little trouble when you bring up names.

  Johnny Carson : OK.

  Don Rickles : 'Cause I could bring up a couple of things about you, and you'd be in court again.

• Don Rickles : [on married life]  They're always in heat when you are not ready! Isn't it the truth? I can see it now - "Hi, pussycat..." And I gotta go by the bed and go, "Meow... meow..."

  Johnny Carson : Are you still playing that ridiculous game?

  Don Rickles : Yeah. One night I was a werewolf, but that got out of hand.

• Johnny Carson : What would happen - as a science fiction writer - if you ever explored the possibility, if they find something else that is faster than the speed of light? Now, they say that's impossible.

  Ray Bradbury : Well, they said breaking the sound barrier was impossible, too.