- Alice: I haven't been so excited since I got the card saying I won the beauty contest, do you remember?
- Reverend Geraldine Granger: We were playing monopoly at the time, weren't we?
- Alice: That's right. I was *so* proud.
- Reverend Geraldine Granger: Yeah. Off you go then, sad little lunatic.
- Frank Pickle: Tell me, vicar. Is Alice all right.
- Reverend Geraldine Granger: Oh, she's absolutely fine. Please feel free to just step right over them.
- [camera pans out to show Alice and Hugo lying in the walkway making out]
- Geraldine Granger: Tell me Father, what would the Catholic stance be here? Would it be murder, when the brain's already dead?
- [points to Alice and Hugo]
- Geraldine Granger: Owen, is there any particular reason for your visit or have you come here specifically to insult our guest?
- Owen Newitt: Yes, that's right. That is the purpose of my visit.
- David Horton: They rot the brain, they warp the mind, and they destroy the very fabric of our society. Now surely, it's up to the Church to take a moral stand and speak out against them.
- Geraldine Granger: Right, I'll mention it to the Bishop. Deep hostility in Dibley to all programs starring Anthea Turner.
- Owen Newitt: Catholic are ya?
- Father Peter Clifford: That's right.
- Owen Newitt: I bet that cuts down on your snogging a bit.