The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)

Comic Relief Special 1999 - Celebrity Party (1999)

Gary Waldhorn: David Horton

Quotes 

• Owen Newitt : Is there anyone famous in it?

  David Horton : Well, let's see, according to this letter, someone called Johnny Depp.

  Geraldine Granger : Johnny Depp? In our village? Johnny "please use your scissorhands to snip my pants off immediately" Depp!

• David Horton : Hello, Vicar. I hear you had quite a night.

  Geraldine Granger : Oh. Boy, you can say that again! Michael Caine, right...

  [laughs] 

  Geraldine Granger : ... brought along this mango.

  David Horton : Apparently though, apart from *Johnny*, you didn't actually see any of your guests.

  Geraldine Granger : Well, no. But they were definitely there.

  David Horton : [Smugly]  Or were they? I suspect you've had the wool pulled over your eyes! I think he probably brought along a couple of rather good impressionists.

  Geraldine Granger : [Indignantly]  No he did not! I mean, look.

  David Horton : What's that?

  Geraldine Granger : This... is Madonna's bra.

  David Horton : [laughing]  That is not Madonna's bra - it's yours!

  Geraldine Granger : It isn't! Look, I'm still wearing mine.

  [Shows him the shoulder strap under her pyjama top] 

  David Horton : I think you've probably got more than one bra!

  Geraldine Granger : No - I haven't! For me, bras are like men. You know, you meet one you love and you stick with it for life. I met this particular love match in British Home Stores, and... well, I'll take him to my grave with me.

  David Horton : 'Him'? I didn't know bras were masculine.

  Geraldine Granger : Well, of course they are. You wouldn't want something female cupping your breasts from dawn till dusk, would you? Well, I suppose you might... if you're a tennis player.