The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)

The Window & the Weather (1994)

Roger Lloyd Pack: Owen Newitt

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Owen Newitt : Filthy weather.

  Jim Trott : No no no no no no no no I've known worse.

  Owen Newitt : Oh yes? When was that, then?

  Jim Trott : The Great Storm, when the windmill got blown over.

  Owen Newitt : That wasn't the Great Storm; that was a moderately windy night. No, the really great storm was the Great Storm.

  Jim Trott : When was that, then?

  Owen Newitt : When Dave Batt got decapitated.

  Jim Trott : That wasn't the Great Storm.

  Owen Newitt : Well, it was pretty damn great.

  Jim Trott : No, the greatest storm was the one when Old Harold got blown into the quarry.

  Owen Newitt : Ooh, that! The Great Winds.

  Jim Trott : The what?

  Owen Newitt : The Great Storm there's got to be rain, and in the Great Winds there was just wind.

  Letitia Cropley : Nasty night. It reminds me of the Great Storm.

  Owen Newitt , Jim Trott : Shut up!

• David Horton : I *love* this kind of weather. Do you remember The Great Snow?

  Owen Newitt : Oh yes. Froze your balls off.

  Letitia Cropley : Poor old Gladys.

  Jim Trott : What about her?

  Letitia Cropley : Well, she died, didn't she? In The Great Snow. Froze to death one Friday.

  Jim Trott : No no no no, that was The Great Frost. I-It w-were the Bottle twins, Mabel and Edith, that froze to death in The Great Snow of '54.

  Owen Newitt : Rubbish. The Bottles died in The Great Freeze of '48.

  David Horton : And I'm about to die in The Great Bore of '94.

  [a thunderclap. The lights go out] 

  Frank Pickle : How exciting! It's just like The Great Eclipse of '53.

  David Horton : Shut up!

• David Horton : First on the agenda, we've been asked to make a contribution to the South American earthquake appeal. I thought perhaps £10.

  Owen Newitt : Oh, it's not much, is it? Hundreds of kiddies dying of starvation and we can only spare a tenner.

  David Horton : What did you have in mind?

  Owen Newitt : Well, I don't know... 11 quid?

  David Horton : Done.

• David Horton : Sadly, you must minute that Dibley can't afford a new window.

  Geraldine Granger : Stop writing, Frank. "Can't" isn't in the Christian vocabulary.

  Owen Newitt : Yes it is! You can't commit adultery, you cant steal...

  Jim Trott : No no no and you can't even covet your neighbor's ass, even if it is very alluring.

• Daniel Frobisher : [at the unveiling of the new window]  What do you think of it, David?

  David Horton : Very beautiful. I've always thought it to be the finest view in the village. Good decision.

  Owen Newitt : Bloody marvelous. I mean, when it comes to it, you can't beat God's own creation, can you?