WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

Frog Story (1981)

Richard Sanders: Les Nessman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bailey Quarters : Herb has a sick frog.

  Les Nessman : I beg your pardon?

  Bailey Quarters : [suppressing a giggle]  Well... well it seems that this frog... Herb, you better tell him.

  Herb Tarlek : [getting up from his desk carrying the shoebox containing the frog]  His name's Greenpeace, Les... and he's pink, so don't look at him and tell me he's pink, 'cause I already told you he's pink, okay? I accidentally spray painted him. There he is.

  [Herb takes the lid off the shoebox which he hands to Les, who looks long and hard inside] 

  Les Nessman : Ooooooh. He's pink!

• Les Nessman : Venus, surely you must know some sort of black thing. You know what I'm saying?

  Venus Flytrap : A black thing?

  Les Nessman : Yes, you know, some sort of plantation voodoo thing that helps get paint off a frog.

  Venus Flytrap : [long pause]  A what?

• [Les has giving Johnny a series of physical diagnostic tests] 

  Dr. Johnny Fever : What's wrong with me, Les?

  Les Nessman : [nervously]  Probably just a simple cold... You should see a doctor, John. If not now, at least by noon.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : Why?

  Les Nessman : I'm a newsman, not a neurologist, John.

• Dr. Johnny Fever : This morning, I think I'm dying, all anybody around here can think about is this frog. A pink frog! I'm a human being, you know. It's like the movies though: you can waste the entire Confederate army, nobody cares. 395,000 deader than doornails, but kill one collie, everybody collapses in grief.

  Dr. Hunnisett : What's wrong with him?

  Les Nessman : Schistosomiasis!

  Dr. Hunnisett : [shocked]  Really?

• Herb Tarlek : [as Bailey looks into the box]  He's not dead, Bailey, he's just resting, that's... that's all.

  Bailey Quarters : I know. I did not say he was dead, Herb, I just said he looks a little pathetic.

  [pokes at frog] 

  Bailey Quarters : Won't the paint come off?

  Les Nessman : [entering]  Morning.

  Bailey Quarters : Morning, Les. Herb has a sick frog.

  Les Nessman : I beg your pardon?

  Bailey Quarters : Well, he...

  [tries to stifle laughter] 

  Bailey Quarters : Uh, it seems that this frog...

  [can't help giggling] 

  Bailey Quarters : Herb, you'd better tell him.

  [giggles some more] 

  Herb Tarlek : [gets up from desk, brings shoe-box]  His name's Greenpeace, Les, and he's pink. So don't look at him and tell me he's pink, because I already told you he's pink, okay? I accidentally spray-painted him. Here he is.

  Les Nessman : Hmm. He's pink! Hi, there, Greenpeace, you look like a cute little froggie.

  [notices:] 

  Les Nessman : He doesn't move around much.

  Bailey Quarters : He's a very sick frog, Les.

  Les Nessman : Oh, I see. What shall we do?

  Herb Tarlek : I don't want to hear it, Les.

  Les Nessman : Why?

  Herb Tarlek : It's bad luck to take advice from insane people.

  Les Nessman : I've never heard that.