WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

Real Families (1980)

Peter Marshall: Phil Tarry

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phil Tarry : [as the Tarleks watch television together]  Lucille?

  Lucille Tarlek : Yes, Phil?

  Phil Tarry : Does your family watch a lot of television?

  Bunny Tarlek : It's on all the time.

  Lucille Tarlek : Oh, honey, that's not so. We do watch a little.

  Elaine Parker : Are you careful what you allow the children to watch?

  Lucille Tarlek : Yes indeed, we are.

  Elaine Parker : For instance?

  Lucille Tarlek : Well, we only allow them to watch wholesome, family entertainment.

  Elaine Parker : Like what?

  Lucille Tarlek : Oh, well... The Little House in the Prairie, that's a fine, wholesome show. It's about blind children out west, and every week they have a fire, or someone gets an incurable disease. We enjoy it very much!

• Bailey Quarters : [directly to the camera about Herb]  He did the Dancing Ducks promotion.

  Elaine Parker : What's that, Bailey?

  Bailey Quarters : Well, it was sort of a, a tie in with Hunter's Department Store. Um, Herb put some ducks in a window. It was a real cute idea.

  Venus Flytrap : [in the next shot, speaking directly to the camera]  ... and, um, the ducks, well they would do a little dance.

  Phil Tarry : What?

  Venus Flytrap : Th, they would dance. Apparently Herb taught the ducks to dance... I guess, I don't know anymore.

  Elaine Parker : [in the next shot]  This is Vargus Enswiller, head of the Cincinnati office of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

  Vargus Enswiller : [directly to the camera]  Mr. Tarlek placed some ducks in the window of Hunter's Department Store as an advertising gimmick with his radio station. At noon, one, two and three PM, the ducks would do a little dance, sort of a jitterbug.

  Elaine Parker : Mr. Tarlek had trained the ducks?

  Vargus Enswiller : No. The ducks danced on a little stage made of aluminum foil. We discovered that under that, Mr. Tarlek had placed a hot plate. He'd turn it up, the ducks would dance. He'd turn it off, and the ducks would go on about their business. You know, the interesting thing about this case was that two Thanksgivings ago, this man Tarlek, and another man named Carlson were cited for throwing live turkeys out of a helicopter... to their deaths.

  Herb Tarlek : [in the next shot of Herb and Mr. Carlson in Mr. Carlson's office, talking directly into the camera]  We, um, we didn't mean to kill those turkeys. It was an accident.

  Arthur Carlson : [sheepishly]  We thought turkeys could fly.

  Phil Tarry : What about the ducks?

  Herb Tarlek : [aside to Mr. Carlson, as both Herb and Mr. Carlson look extremely uneasy]  Should we call a lawyer?

• Phil Tarry : Say, who manages the station?

  Herb Tarlek : Well, there, there's three of us. There's, uh, Arthur Carlson, he's the GM. Andy Travis, he's the PD. And me, I'm the S&M... SM. Sales Manager.

• Elaine Parker : [the camera on Les]  And Les Nessman, News Director of WKRP for the past seven years.

  Les Nessman : [showing his wall of plaques]  ... I won this one in 1975 when I broke the big soybean shortage story. And over here...

  Phil Tarry : [interrupting]  Say, Les.

  Les Nessman : What?

  Phil Tarry : What's Herb Tarlek like?

  Les Nessman : [rapidfire in a monotone]  Hard worker, loyal husband, all around fine person.

  Les Nessman : [Les physically directing the camera down to the trophy on his desk]  Now this... this is the coveted Silver Sow Award. I'm sure your viewers would love to touch it!

• Elaine Parker : Kids, is Daddy a hard worker?

  Bunny Tarlek , Herb Tarlek III : Yeah.

  Elaine Parker : How do you know?

  Bunny Tarlek : Well, sometimes he works so hard, he comes home for lunch and sleeps *all* day!

  Andy Travis : [in the next shot, speaking directly to the camera]  Sleeps all day?

  Phil Tarry : That's right!

  Andy Travis : That's impossible. Y, you see, Herb's out making sales calls...