- Les Nessman: Travis, the very first day you came to this station, you promised to get me a helicopter.
- Andy Travis: I know I did Les, but that was a long time ago, and I was lying.
- Bailey Quarters: Well, I planned my high school homecoming parade once, and all I can remember about that is you never put the horses up front.
- Venus Flytrap: Why not?
- [Mr. Carlson, Andy, Jennifer and Herb simultaneously and incredulously turn to Venus in he not understanding the reason]
- Bailey Quarters: [about a WKRP stunt to help save Les' life] I bet all the other stations could help.
- Herb Tarlek: Why should they?
- Bailey Quarters: Well, if you were in competition with us, would you want *us* to lose Les?
- [Buddy and Les are flying over the city hoping to hear a symphony of honking car horns below]
- Buddy Barker: I don't hear anything.
- Les Nessman: We can't hear over the engine.
- Buddy Barker: Oh yeah, no problem.
- Les Nessman: [worriedly screaming] No, don't turn the engine off. Don't turn...
- [Buddy turns off the plane's engine]
- Les Nessman: [worriedly] Oh, my gosh.
- [Buddy and Les are flying over the city, while Buddy has turned off the plane's engine so that they can hear the honking car horns below]
- Les Nessman: [after hearing the car horns] Buddy, will you please turn the engine back on?
- Buddy Barker: I can't Les. We're out of gas.
- Venus Flytrap: Two bananas...
- Dr. Johnny Fever: [checking note he made on tear sheet] Two.
- Venus Flytrap: Wheat germ...
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Wheat germ.
- Venus Flytrap: Sixteen Vitamin C pills...
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Sixteen.
- Venus Flytrap: Juice from one carrot.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: One carrot.
- Venus Flytrap: Blend it for three minutes, and then drink.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Now, you're saying that no matter how much I continue to abuse my body, this will keep me alive...?
- Venus Flytrap: Forever and ever.
- Bailey Quarters: [entering broadcast booth] Move it or lose it!
- Venus Flytrap: Morning, Bailey.
- Bailey Quarters: I am up in thirty seconds!
- Dr. Johnny Fever: How you doing, Bailey?
- Bailey Quarters: Come on, hop it!
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Hop it?
- [shakes his head, surrenders his chair]
- Bailey Quarters: Look at this.
- [complains about scattered tear sheets]
- Bailey Quarters: From now on, I do not go on the air without time to prepare.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: [checks watch, Les is late] Where is Cincinnati's window to the world?
- Bailey Quarters: I do not know, but he is in trouble with Carlson. Is tomorrow Veterans Day or Armistice Day?
- Venus Flytrap: I don't know.
- Bailey Quarters: But you're a veteran.
- [she admonishes him for not knowing]
- Venus Flytrap: They changed the name.
- Bailey Quarters: [to Johnny] Is it Armistice Day?
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Gee, I, yeah... No. I don't really know. Uh, how about Decoration Day?
- Venus Flytrap: No, no, no. Decoration Day has been changed to Memorial Day. That's in May.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Well, maybe it's Armed Forces Day.
- Venus Flytrap: No, no, that's been changed to Gay Indian Liberation Day.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: No, no, no. No. Gay Indian Liberation Day was a tradeoff for Thanksgiving.
- Bailey Quarters: Forget it!
- [nods, starts newscast]
- Bailey Quarters: Good morning, Cincinnati, it's 10 AM and time for the news. I'm Bailey Quarters filling in for Les Nessman.
- [reading from tear sheet:]
- Bailey Quarters: Two bananas, wheat germ, and sixteen Vitamin C pills...
- [realizes]
- Bailey Quarters: More in a minute...
- Bailey Quarters: I planned my high school homecoming parade once, and all I can remember about that is... you never put the horses up front.
- Venus Flytrap: Why not?
- [realizes]
- Venus Flytrap: Oh, yeah.
- Bailey Quarters: [snaps fingers] I'll bet all the other stations could help.
- Herb Tarlek: Why should they?
- Bailey Quarters: Well, if you were in competition with us, would you want us to lose Les?
- Jennifer Marlowe: Les, Mr. Carlson says you can go home now, or to the bathroom, whichever you'd like.
- Les Nessman: Thank you, Jennifer.
- Jennifer Marlowe: Goodnight, Les. Tomorrow will be a better day.
- [shakes her head]