WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)
The Consultant (1981)
Gary Sandy: Andy Travis
Photos
Quotes
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Andy Travis : Your mother just hired a consultant to look at our operation.
Arthur Carlson : [whistling in exclamation] When?
Andy Travis : He's here now.
Arthur Carlson : [pointing to the ground] Here? Right here?
Andy Travis : No, not in the station. He's here in town.
Arthur Carlson : Well then, don't panic. I know what to do about this. Next week, I'll just take a little vacation, take Herb and Les with me, maybe Johnny too - you can never tell what he's going to do.
Andy Travis : Wait a minute. You just can't clear out the station.
Arthur Carlson : [adamantly] Why not? Bring him here, introduce him to Jennifer, she'll wink at him a couple of times, and he goes home.
Andy Travis : Listen, what if *he* is a *she*.
Arthur Carlson : Well then you wink at him.
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Lillian Carlson : [to Andy after Breeze has left the room, knowingly about how he sabotaged Breeze] You are a very, very bad boy.
Andy Travis : Well, you know, it's kinda hard to get to know people in one day. I remember...
Lillian Carlson : [interrupting] THAT'S enough. Hirsch!
Hirsch : Yes, madam?
Lillian Carlson : You've been eavesdropping.
Hirsch : Oh no, madam... very handy, as usual.
Lillian Carlson : Kindly escort Mr. Travis to the door, and watch him very carefully. Make sure he doesn't steal the doorbell!
Hirsch : [wearily] Yes, madam.
Andy Travis : [as he's leaving] Gonna need some more money!
Lillian Carlson : Out.
Andy Travis : Kind of overspent on the lobby...
Lillian Carlson : Out!
Andy Travis : We'll talk later.
Lillian Carlson : GO!
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Andy Travis : Mrs. Carlson, why don't you just leave it to me. Trust me.
Lillian Carlson : Oh impossible, Mr. Travis. While I do have a certain amount of confidence in you, I trust no one but my own son, and I always trust him to do the wrong thing. Unless of course the subject is fish - show my son a mackerel and his mind becomes a computer.
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Andy Travis : And this is the bullpen, as we call it. That's Bailey Quarters here...
[Bailey sits casually toying with page torn out from notepad, sailing it through the air]
Andy Travis : She's in charge of traffic, continuity and some news reporting.
Norris Breeze : [unimpressed] Mm. Hello.
Bailey Quarters : [like big overgrown kid] Hey.
Andy Travis : Let's see what Les Nessman is up to.
Les Nessman : [busy on phone] Well, Ben Bradley at The Washington Post is a good man. Oh, sure, he makes mistakes, but he's a good man. Uh-huh?
Norris Breeze : [as Bailey does fly-past with page as imaginary paper airplane] She does traffic and continuity?
Andy Travis : Uh, yeah. Les will be off the phone in just a minute.
Norris Breeze : I'd like to speak with her.
Andy Travis : Okay... . She's really kind of shy.
Norris Breeze : [insists] I'd like to speak to her.
Andy Travis : Okay.
[ready to assist]
Norris Breeze : Alone.
[Andy leaves reluctantly]
Norris Breeze : Hi.
Bailey Quarters : [big goofy smile, gives peace sign, total hippie chick] Hi.
[nods]
Norris Breeze : Do you enjoy your work here?
Bailey Quarters : Oh, yeah. Yeah.
[looks away shyly]
Norris Breeze : You, uh, ever do any drugs?
Bailey Quarters : [wide-eyed look, smiles in conspirational way] When?
Norris Breeze : Like, on the job.
Bailey Quarters : Sit down, I wanna tell you something.
Norris Breeze : [sits down, but she's suddenly a silent statue, zoned out] What?
Bailey Quarters : What what?
Norris Breeze : You were gonna tell me something.
Bailey Quarters : [chuckles] I don't think so.
[big smile]
Norris Breeze : You control the paperwork at the station?
Bailey Quarters : Oh, yeah. If you have any paper you just bring it to me. I would also love some M&M's.
Les Nessman : [gets up from phone] Mr. Breeze... Les Nessman. I understand you find my news reports unusual. Humorous. Thank you very much.
[firm, hearty handshake exchanged]
Les Nessman : It's a rock station, so I enjoy kidding around. Unless it's hard news. Then, of course, I go for it.
[is the big Nessman, busy, busy, busy:]
Les Nessman : Excuse me.
[off on assignment...]
Bailey Quarters : [sings jingle] N-E-S-T-L-E-S, Nestle's makes the very best... chocolate!
[with hands, mimics big crocodile-like mouth snapping shut, then chuckles]
Bailey Quarters : Farfel. Remember that guy? The dog!
[Norris Breeze nods, then walks out]