WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

The Patter of Little Feet (1979)

Frank Bonner: Herb Tarlek

Quotes 

• Bailey Quarters : Research shows that the average married couple makes love 2.96 times a week.

  Herb Tarlek : Not so. Not in Cincinnati. I know!

  Les Nessman : Bailey, what are you doing with information like that?

  Bailey Quarters : Oh, well I guess I read it somewhere, Les.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : Uh, 2.96. Wonder how they do the, uh, nine six part.

  Bailey Quarters : That is, uh, just an average, Johnny.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : Well, it should average out to three. Somebody is not doing something right!

• Herb Tarlek : [fed up with the whole day]  That's it for me, pal!

  [shoves his pencil tower work of art he'd been working on all afternoon into wastepaper basket] 

  Herb Tarlek : Boom!

  [rises] 

  Herb Tarlek : I'm bushed! It's in your hands, Nessman!

  [stretches, about to leave] 

  Herb Tarlek : Oh, hey, Big Guy! How's the boy,

  [playful mock punch] 

  Herb Tarlek : how's the guy,

  [another playful mock punch] 

  Herb Tarlek : how's the man, how's the stud?

  [another playful mock punch] 

  Arthur Carlson : Go home, Herb.

  Herb Tarlek : Exactly. My thinking exactly. Night, Bailey.

  Bailey Quarters : Night, Herb.

  [rises from behind desk as Herb finally leaves] 

  Bailey Quarters : Uh, Mr. Carlson?

  [no response] 

  Bailey Quarters : Uh, Mr. Carlson?

  [pats him on the shoulder, chuckles, at last gets noticed] 

  Bailey Quarters : I just want to say that I'm very happy...

  Arthur Carlson : [absentmindedly]  Oh, good, Bailey.

  Bailey Quarters : No, I just want to say that I'm very happy for you

  [sweetly:] 

  Bailey Quarters : and Mrs. Carlson...

  [chuckles] 

  Arthur Carlson : Oh, thanks.

  Bailey Quarters : You're welcome.

  [snickers] 

  Bailey Quarters : Good night. Good night, Les. See you later.

  [busy scribbling at his desk, he just nods, head remaining down] 

  Bailey Quarters : Well, have a very... pleasant evening, everybody!

  [to herself as she retreats:] 

  Bailey Quarters : Okay, Bailey, uh, see you later! Okay, great... All right! Get out of here! Fine!

  [slings jacket over shoulder, out the door]