- Passenger: Excuse me, when do you think the next plane leaves for Boston? I'm on kind of a tight schedule.
- Brian Michael Hackett: *You're* on a tight schedule?
- [snickers]
- Brian Michael Hackett: *You're* on a tight schedule. I'm running this place single-handedly. I'm taking all the flights because Joe's on his honeymoon, I'm booking the reservations because Fay's on a seniors' cruise, I'm even doing all the pre-flight checks because Lowell's *also* on vacation.
- [shouting]
- Brian Michael Hackett: But hell! You wanna take off now? We'll take off now! I've only been up for 28 hours straight! I was hoping to grab a cup of coffee, but hey! We got auto-pilot!
- [Calmer]
- Brian Michael Hackett: Just do me a little favor: when you hear this sound
- [He blares like a horn]
- Brian Michael Hackett: ... wake me!
- Passenger: [Frightened] No no no, please! Take your time, 'cause I can wait.
- Brian Michael Hackett: That's more like it!
- [Calmer]
- Brian Michael Hackett: And thank you for flying Sandpiper.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Brian, SHUT UP! You know, all our life it has been the same pattern. You screw up, I get mad, you apologize, I forgive you, then I get stuck cleaning up the mess! Well, it's not just me anymore. I have a wife now. Someday I hope to have a family. This time it was the house. What's it gonna be next, my children? That's a chance I can't afford to take. I... just don't have it in me anymore.
- Brian Michael Hackett: What are you saying?
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: [Long pause] I'm saying I want you out of my life.
- Brian Michael Hackett: Come on. Come on, come on, come on. You don't mean that. We're just gonna, we'll get past all this.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: [Calmly] I'll buy you out of your share of the house... and Sandpiper. And you can get on with your life, and I can get on with mine.
- Brian Michael Hackett: [Joe starts walking out of the room] Hey, Joey...
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: No, no.
- [He turns]
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: We're done.
- Antonio Scarpacci: How can I ever face Joe and Helen again? And Casey? I've blown any chance I ever had with her.
- Roy Biggins: No you didn't. You never had a chance with her. If you two were Siamese twins, you couldn't get her into bed.