- Lowell Mather: Personally, I haven't had any "female companionship" since Bunny left. Actually, a couple of months BEFORE she left. Come to think of it, how old is my youngest child?
- Roy Biggins: What a bunch of losers. As far as I'm concerned, chicks are like buses. You miss one, another one'll come along before you know it.
- Brian Michael Hackett: Your dates are very much like buses, Roy. They're loud, they belch smoke, and can be picked up pretty much on any street corner.
- Helen Chapel: Well I haven't had a date in six months; and that was with a total moron.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Joe starts counting on his fingers.
- Helen Chapel: Oh Joe, stop counting, it wasn't you. When I dated you, I was the moron.