Tyron Leitso: Eric Gotts

Quotes 

• Millie Marcus : But we're not talking about my fame, we're talking about Niagara's legacy. A legacy that I've been the guardian of now for half a century. I'm just supposed to stand idly by and watch them destroy that?

  Mahandra McGinty : Hell, no.

  Eric Gotts : Wow, that's impressive. You made ruining that poor woman's life actually sound kind of noble.

• Mahandra McGinty : That doesn't do anyone any good. But I'll tell you what does: The story of Millie Marcus and her barrel.

  Eric Gotts : It is sort of the quintessential American tale.

  Mahandra McGinty : Yes. Exactly. It teaches us there's nothing a person can't do.

  Eric Gotts : Or nothing a person actually has to do. I mean, look at her. She's 100% fabrication. She decided what she wanted to be and DAMN the facts. You don't get much more American than that.

• Eric Gotts : [at a funeral home after Millie dies]  How did you arrange all this?

  Jaye Tyler : Her purse was full of traveler's checks.

  Eric Gotts : Isn't that illegal?

  Jaye Tyler : Probably the least illegal thing we're doing right now.

• Eric Gotts : Millie Marcus taught me that what's most important in life is to be yourself. Even if you have to be somebody else to do it. So, from here on out, you can just call me Eric.

  Jaye Tyler : But, like, with a Q or something?

  Eric Gotts : Nope. Just me. I figure it's not so terrible being Eric. The now Eric, I mean. Then Eric was sad. But Then Eric was then. I'm Now Eric. And don't laugh, but I kinda like it here. I like the barrel. I like slinging cocktails. I like Niagara Falls... and I like you.

  Jaye Tyler : [holding it back]  I'm not laughing.

  Eric Gotts : That's a start.

  Jaye Tyler : Maybe it is.

  Eric Gotts : [taking out a cell phone]  And here's an ending.

  Jaye Tyler : What are you doing?

  Eric Gotts : This phone belongs to Then Eric, so it's going away.

  Jaye Tyler : Oh, my God.

  Eric Gotts : Okay. Here goes. Goodbye to the old life.

  Jaye Tyler : [as he throws it over the falls, it starts ringing]  I'm sure they'll call back.

• Vivian Caldwell : So, now I know what it's like to be Millie.

  Eric Gotts : Because you're wearing her clothes?

  Vivian Caldwell : 'Cause I feel like a fraud.

  Jaye Tyler : Yeah. One of life's little ironies is that you have to continue Millie's lie so you can finally tell the truth. I never said it was a perfect plan, but at least this time it'll be you up on those podiums getting the accolades and signing the autographs.

  Vivian Caldwell : I still have to sign her name.

  Jaye Tyler : 'Fraid so.

• Jaye Tyler : [Mahandra and Millie steal the barrel from Vivian's front yard]  What are you doing?

  Mahandra McGinty : Protecting history.

  Jaye Tyler : You're drunk.

  Mahandra McGinty : And you're a nihilist. Hey, why don't you run and get a Bible and a copy of the Constitution and tear those up too while you're at it?

  Jaye Tyler : Oh, stop it!

  Mahandra McGinty : Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you? You'd love it if I just stepped aside and allowed you to destroy one life after another with your truth-covered lie. You may have started this little geriatric war, but I'm gonna finish it.

  Jaye Tyler : What... what war? Eric, why are you helping? What's gotten into you?

  Eric Gotts : Please don't ask me any questions. I'm really not sure what's happening.

• Jaye Tyler : We're gathered here today to say goodbye not only to Then Eric, but to our friend Millie. Or most of her, at any rate. Some of her got on the cash register. But hopefully, it wasn't anything important. Just like an elbow or something. She was a... she may have been a liar, but she'll always be a legend. She lived her life claiming she went over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Now nobody will ever be able to say different.

  [she throws the barrel containing Millie's ashes over the falls] 

  Jaye Tyler : And so history is preserved.

  Eric Gotts : And a legend continues.

  Jaye Tyler : [turning around and bumping into a police officer]  Oh, crap!

  Cop : [writing a ticket]  Littering, $250 fine. Just need your autograph.

• Mahandra : It teaches us there isn't anything a person can't do.

  Eric : Or anything a person actually has to do. I mean look at her, she's 100% fabrication. She decided what she wanted to be and damn the facts. You don't get much more American than that.