Tracie Thoms: Mahandra McGinty

Quotes 

• Jaye : That kid's not right. He's fixated on Eric. Keeps insisting I should dump him.

  Mahandra McGinty : I thought you weren't a couple.

  Jaye : Shut up. I need your car.

  Mahandra McGinty : After the last time I let you borrow my car, I'm thinkin'... not.

  Jaye : Fine. Where's Eric's car?

  Mahandra McGinty : Probably in the parking lot, where people with cars park them.

  Jaye : Where are his keys?

  Mahandra McGinty : Probably in his pocket, where people with pockets put things like keys.

  Jaye : Damn.

  Mahandra McGinty : And since when do you need keys to start a car that doesn't belong to you?

  Jaye : Ooh. Good point.

• Jaye : [covered in feathers after her car is stolen]  I hitched a ride on a poultry truck. And can I just say, I'm never eating wings ever again, unless they're actually made from buffalo. Where's Eric? I need to talk to him about our son.

  Mahandra McGinty : I thought he was with you.

  Jaye : Me? Why would he be with me? We're not a couple.

  Mahandra McGinty : Then why would you have a son? And are you referring to that freaky kid Eric just left with?

  Jaye : He was here?

  Mahandra McGinty : Uh-huh. Just came in, said something about you and a cabin, and then they both ran outta here. Not that I was eavesdropping; well, not very successfully, anyway.

  Jaye : Oh, my God. Psycho-boy cabin. The kid's probably got a shrine up there with Eric's picture and a bullseye or something. The cabin. The cabin, where did he say it was? On a lake. Which lake? Was it Chautauqua?

  Mahandra McGinty : What is going on?

  Jaye : Remember that Russian mail-order bride?

  Mahandra McGinty : Yeah.

  Jaye : Actually, that's all I have time for right now. I need your car.

  Mahandra McGinty : What happened to yours?

  Jaye : I lost it.

  Mahandra McGinty : Um, I don't feel comfortable lending my car to someone who lost theirs.

  Jaye : I need your car! Lives are at stake. Possibly.

• Jaye : I can't be in a relationship right now. I have... issues.

  Mahandra McGinty : Who doesn't?

  Jaye : I'm going through a "me" phase.

  Mahandra McGinty : "Going through"?

  Jaye : Leave me alone. Why can't I just be celibate?

  Mahandra McGinty : Um, because you like boys? And this boy is ready for your jelly.

  Jaye : Look at him. He's smitten. Smitten and eager are bad. Now, you know what you get with smitten and eager. Romance. Relentless, treacly, manufactured romance. That kind of romance never ends well.

• Mahandra McGinty : [watching Eric install a satellite dish on Jaye's trailer]  How'd you get him to do that?

  Jaye : I asked.

  Mahandra McGinty : Very clever.

  Jaye : He was surprisingly eager.

  Mahandra McGinty : Eager's a good thing.

  Jaye : Uh-huh.

  Mahandra McGinty : You're staring.

  Jaye : Uh-huh. No, I'm not. I'm... supervising.

  Mahandra McGinty : [laughing]  I see what you're supervisin'.

  [checking out his butt] 

  Mahandra McGinty : It's like an apple. You bounce a quarter off that apple.

  Jaye : Apples are good for you.

  [in the heat, he takes his shirt off and uses it to wipe down sweat, then catches them staring] 

  Jaye , Mahandra McGinty : Hi.

  Eric Gotts : Sure is hot.

  Mahandra McGinty : [under her breath]  Sure is.

  Jaye : You want something to drink? I have bottled water.

  Eric Gotts : Bottled would be great.

  Mahandra McGinty : I'll get it. You stay and continue the mating ritual.

• Mahandra McGinty : [eavesdropping and Jaye and Eric and "making" the Muse's avatars talk]  "We could sit close. So close. So close."

  [kissing noises] 

  Mahandra McGinty : "Your man sweat is like honey-mustard glaze on my tongue."

  [more kissing noises] 

  Muse : [through the brass monkey belonging to Jaye's therapist]  Inappropriate touching.

  Muse : [through the smoosh-faced wax lion]  This isn't fun for anybody.

  Jaye : Stop it!

  Mahandra McGinty : You stop it.

  Jaye : I haven't started anything.

  Mahandra McGinty : That's what I'm talking about. You should stop with the not-starting and start something already.

  Jaye : He's married.

  Mahandra McGinty : To a philandering strumpet. Those sorts of marriages get annulled.