Jock Mahoney: Yancy Derringer

Quotes 

• John Colton : Do your realize the serious nature of the charge against this woman?

  Yancy Derringer : I realize that this young woman is incapable of hurting a fly. And if you're going to prove that this woman is smuggling opium, you've got a long way to go.

• Yancy Derringer : Mei Ling, you're still in big trouble, but I want you to do something for me. Send a telegram to your Tong cousin, Hon Lee, in San Francisco. Explain to him the plight that you're in and tell him that I'm coming to help you.

  Jody Barker : Oh, now wait a minute, Yancy. If his skirts ain't clean, you're beggin' for a hatchet in the head!

  Miss Mandarin : My cousin is a most honorable gentleman.

  Jody Barker : Honorable enough to stake Yancy's neck on?

• Hon Lee : Mr. Derringer, he who knows little lives long.

  Yancy Derringer : Yes, and he who quote Chinese proverbs avoids answers.

• Yancy Derringer : Oh, by the way, your cousin is alive and well, despite the fact that you neglected to ask.

  Hon Lee : My humble apologies.

  Yancy Derringer : And she said you were an honorable gentleman.

  Hon Lee : Most kind of her.

  Yancy Derringer : Well, I'll tell her she's wrong - on both counts.

• Blackjack Benson : Look, little fella, let me give you a piece of my mind, 'cause it looks like you need it. If you go back into Chinatown, they're gonna skewer you like a water chestnut and peel you like a lychee nut. Those were Tong men on your trail. What have done to them?

  Yancy Derringer : Asked the wrong questions.

  Blackjack Benson : A fella doesn't even ask the right ones down there.

• Yancy Derringer : You're a liar.

  Blackjack Benson : Listen, little fella, I may not always tell the truth, but I never lie.

• Yancy Derringer : Is that a poker game over there?

  Blackjack Benson : It certainly is. Care to sit in?

  Yancy Derringer : It would be my pleasure.

  Blackjack Benson : Well, you join 'em and I'll watch to see who palms the aces.

• [Yancy is playing in a high-stakes poker game with several ships' captains] 

  Yancy Derringer : Well, I'll just have to call you, Captain Brown.

  Captain Brown : Three little mermaids.

  Yancy Derringer : Beats my three nines.

  Jessie Belle : How goes the battle, Mr. Derringer?

  Yancy Derringer : I'm being scuttled.

• [pointing to Blackjack's enormous companion] 

  Yancy Derringer : Who's that?

  Blackjack Benson : Why, that's my baby brother. That's Wee Willie Benson.

  Yancy Derringer : Baby brother?

  Wee Willie Benson : Nice meeting you alive, Mr. Derringer.

• Yancy Derringer : Blackjack, I know you rob stagecoaches between here and the Comstock, but don't you do something else... something that's got more of the air of the truth in it?

  Blackjack Benson : Willie and I are special investigators for the Customs Department.

• Blackjack Benson : Smuggling in over five tons of opium using the old firecrackers to get their inspection seals, just like you switched those drinks.

  Yancy Derringer : [referring to the unconscious Jessie]  Oh, she'll just have a bad head.

  Blackjack Benson : She's gonna have a stretched neck.

• [last lines] 

  Blackjack Benson : All right, Willie, let's clean up in here. Then Yancy's gonna buy us a drink. Right, little fella?

  Yancy Derringer : ...Right.

  Blackjack Benson : C'mon, let's move!